Hi Tom,

Welcome to Cancer Chat, the forum that nobody really wants to join. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's cancer diagnosis, especially when it is so  advanced. I am sure that the whole family must be absolutely devastated.

I lost my Mum to breast cancer metastases many years ago. She survived for 12 years and was told in her final year that the mets were in her liver, lungs, brain and bones. It was harrowing watching her slip away from us and, in the end, we were glad to see her released from pain and suffering. My Mum was 76 when she passed, but your Dad is still a young man - This really is a terrible disease!.

If you can manage to look after him at home, this is probably the best solution for all of you. Have you got a MacMillan nurse who can help you out?

Try not to dwell on his final days, but instead endeavour to make memories, if he is fit enough to do so.

I am thinking of and praying for you and I do hope that he has a peaceful passing.

Please keep in touch and remember, that there is always someone here for you whenever you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine

Hi Jolamine 

Thank you for taking your time to reply, yeah the hospital is helping arrange a Macmillan nurse to help out. 

My dad is in good spirits he's very brave.  I'm so proud of him, he's always been such a strong, hard working family man. 

Life can be very cruel

Tom

So sorry as know how heartbreaking this time can be ... he sounds really brave and hopefully you still have a little time to tell each other all those things that you want them to know ... this is a journey so many have made and so many of us would give you a virtual hug ... so hold these last memories in your heart ... thinking of you Chrisie X

I send prayers to you and your family!  I have no idea what it must like to face loosing a family member to this disease!  I sometimes wish I could better understand what my family is going through, they are so stoic about my disease process.  I have been living with cancer for twenty-three of my forty-one years of life. I just found out this week that it is growing again and it is like I am going through the feelings of a newly diagnosed person all over again.  I send lots of love to you.  This is the first year of this disease that I will no longer be able to maintain my own home and have moved in with my sister. It has been hard loosing that indenpendce but thee one thing I can say is that I value each hour and day I spend with my sister, my family and my cats and have been very grateful to have this close time with them.

Hi Tallakisa,

Thank you for your prayers. Unfortunately, I have lost many family members to cancer.

I would imagine that, like most family members of loved ones with cancer, your family are freaking out at the thought of eventually losing you - although when you've been living with cancer for so long,, they may by now think that you are invincible! The one good thing about all this is that you still have the full support of your family and no amount of medicine can do as much for you as this has.

I am sorry to hear that you can no longer manage to maintain your own home and have moved in with your sister. Losing your independance is always hard, but it sounds as if you have a good relationship with your sister. It is always good when you can see some good come in every situation and I'm glad that you can appreciate the close time that you have managed with your family throughout your cancer journey.

Have the doctors discussed any further treatment for you, or have they given you an appointment date to see the consultant again?

Please keep in touch. There is always someone here for you whenever you want to talk.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Tallakisa,

It sounds as if you have had a really harrowing time recently and have some difficult decisions to make. I agree with you that we all need some quality of life to continue living. I have already told my family that I have no wish to be kept alive on a life-support machine. I am happy to go when my natural time is up. The problem, as you have discovered,is that my family do not want me to go and naturally want to hold on to me for as long as possible.

This is a decision that only you can make, but if you decide not to prolong your life you need to ensure that your family know this and will honour your wishes.

I wish you well with your decision.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Just want to send you all the biggest hug ever ... no words can say how I feel but my heart goes out to you Xx Chrisie