Hi Alyse,

Welcome to Cancer Chat, although I’m sure that you would rather be anywhere else but here.

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad’s recent diagnosis.  He sounds rather like my Mum. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and survived for 12 years from diagnosis. In her final year she developed metastases in liver, lungs, brain and bones. She also had Ascites in her stomach and had to have this drained.  She deteriorated very quickly after this and it was harrowing to watch her at the end.

It is so good to read of someone who is trying to make the most of the time your Dad has left rather than saying that you can’t cope. Life is so much easier for all if you can keep a positive slant on things for as long as you can. I’m not saying that it will be easy, It won’t. In fact it’ll be very tough, but you’ll manage.

Try to make memories with him while he is able to participate. Does he have any affairs he wants to put in order? Is there anything that he would like to do or anyone he would like to visit? Make sure you let him know how much you love him. Does he have any hobbies or pastimes that he could still participate in despite his failing health? Is he a reader? He may find that he hasn’t got the energy to hold a book for long, so maybe you could read to him. Does he enjoy music? Perhaps pop some music onto an IPlayer or get some CDs or DVD of his favourite tunes.

Spend time with him and really talk to him, but don’t tire him out. Do you have other siblings or is your Mum still with you? It is always easier if you can share the load. He sounds like a real trouper and you should be incredibly proud of him.

As he nears the end of his cancer journey, I hope that he gets to pass peacefully, after battling cancer for so long.

Please keep us in the loop. There is always someone here for you whenever you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine