Hi,

I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer stage 4 in March this year and it's also spread to my liver. It's been 4 months and I'm still trying to wrap my head around the situation. I started chemo, Abaxane and Gemzar in May and at my last CT scan 3 weeks ago my doctor said the pancreatic tumour was stable. 

I live in Japan and don't have what I'd call close friends. To be honest I don't have anyone to talk to. This is what I'm finding the most difficult. I'm estranged from my wife and my son who is 21 can't handle the situation at all and has completely shut himself off from me.he can't/won't talk about it. I know I'm dying and it scares the hell out of me, I'm often depressed and find it very difficult to be positive about anything. The medical staff at the hospital are all very kind, but because of language difficulties communication is very limited. Basically I need someone to talk with. I'm not religious and don't want to talk with a priest/reverend as they'd only harp on about God.

Thanks for reading this I needed to vent a little.