Hello Rmleka,

Welcome to Cancer Chat.  I am so sorry to hear about your brother’s recent diagnosis at such a young age. News like this comes as a terrible shock to all of us and cancer affects family as much as it does the patient.

For his sake it is you who needs to be strong for him now. Your emotions will be all over the place at the moment, particularly when everything is happening so quickly. This is perfectly normal as unfortunately, there is no easy way to cope with the roller coaster of uncertainty attached to this terrible disease. You will find that your feelings can change as quickly as the weather. Has your brother broken the news to your nephews yet and, if so, how have they taken it? Don’t worry about crying. This is perfectly normal and is a good release valve for some of the stress you are feeling. Unfortunately, you have to deal with this upset, as we don’t get any other option.

Support him the best you can. Help out in the house. He is probably already feeling very tired, but he is likely to feel even more tired when he starts chemo. Food won’t taste the same either and he will find it difficult to cook for the family. Again, help in preparing tasty and nutritious food would be helpful. Are there any things that he would like to do or people he might like to see while he is well enough to do these? Help him to make some good memories with his sons. This will give them precious recollections in later life.

 Do you have some nice photos of your brother? These are of great solace to you all long after he is gone. My mother died of breast cancer metastases many years ago. I still miss her daily. Unfortunately, she didn’t like having her photo taken, so we only have a few pictures of her, but you’ve no idea how much I treasure them.

This will be a hard and distressing time for all the family. Do you still have your parents? I am hoping and praying that you have him for as long as he is keeping well.

Please keep in touch with us and let us know how you are getting on. There is always someone here to talk, whether you are looking for advice or you just want to the vent steam.

Lind regards,

Jolamine xx