Hello Jolamine

Thank you for my first reply and appreciations to my journey. Yes I suppose it has been a nightmare especially for my Husband who has had to take time off work for the last 3 months, but has been supported by his work and our GP's help. I have been so gratefull to his kind care that he has found in this new role in life other than his job that has surprised me considerably as I always thought i was the stronger one when running the home. At the moment for whatever reason I seem to have these burst of tears and is not like me as always keeping emotions in check. I am putting it down to the medicines more than anything but also a fear of isolation within my self that I cannot quite take in, i guess its trying to keep strong in order to get well, well thats my explanation anyway. yes i will keep in touch Thank you.

Hi Dickensfox,

I am glad to hear that your husband, like mine, has really stepped up to the plate -. they can surprise us sometimes! My hubby has been my rock.

If it’s of any consolation, the majority of us have a spell of tearfulness. So much happens so quickly that we’ve got to have a release valve somewhere. Crying is a good way of letting go of the tension, so don’t try to stop the tears. Let them fall and you’ll find that you feel better for doing so. I cried buckets to start with, which was very unlike me. I have always been a very insular person and do not wear my emotions on my sleeve. My mind was all over the place shortly after my diagnosis too and my moods seemed to change with the weather. Fortunately, this has improved over the past 6 years.

You are lucky that your husband’s work and his GP have both been very understanding. There cannot be many people who are not affected by cancer these days, but you still hear of people who cannot take additional time off work – I don’t know how they manage! I am self-employed, so I was able to take time off when my Mum had cancer – it meant no income and the expense of a plane ticket every week, but I’ve never regretted doing this.

I am sorry that you feel so isolated and wonder how you can get around this. I have always had a job dealing with people and missed this sorely when I had to stop work. Are you still fit enough to get about or are you confined to the house? I suffered from extreme fatigue for 5 years and still tire very easily, so I couldn’t do anything too strenuous. I took up photography classes and have got quite involved in these. I also joined some self-help groups for cancer and chronic pain. These have been very helpful. I also spend a lot of time on this site trying to help fellow cancer pilgrims and now feel that I have a number of cyber friends here. I got a lot of help when I first joined this site. Sadly, all of the people who supported me are no longer here, but  I am now happy to try and help others who are at the same stage as I was then.

There are many other pastimes, which don’t use up all your energy and I am sure that you can find something that you would find both enjoyable and helpful.

Stay strong,

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine

Your words are in harmony to my own thoughts about Hubby, tear release, and my thoughts and feelings at this present time. I think my isolation is really in my  head for some reason, and I think it is because I have missed out on the activities I do manage to do with my Husband during the year, and possibly feel If I will do it for the future in the same way. I cannot go out on my own but do socialise with public events with a stall as a Member of the Charles Dickens Society. It seems all my energy has become depleted in the last 2 years or more. I know I have just experienced surgery and accept i have to rest but I am not used to this. I have to find my positive self again. Thank you for your gracious reply and look forward to further chats. regards christine   PS decided to make my Christmas cards today....

Hi,

We missed out on a lot of activities which we normally did together for 6 years and it is only in the past year that I have had the energy to go out and about again. I still have to use a mobility scooter or a wheeled walker to get about, but if tis is the only way that I can do this then so be it!

You have done well to make your own Christmas cards today. I have had mine in since January (I still haven't got the energy to make them), but I haven't got around to writing them yet. I am glad to hear that you have an interest in the Charles Dickens Society and that you can still remain involved with this.

I suffered with extreme fatigue for the first 6 years, and although I still tire very easily, I am an awful lot better than I was.  Hopefully, this will happen for you too. At present you are recuperating from fairly major surgery and you just have to give into these tired spells and take a nap as needed.

 Be good to yourself and take care,

Jolamine xx

Hello, it sounds like we are twins as I too have all the same paraphanilia to help me get around and what a help it is and hearing you say only having the energy to actually go out, well I can relate to that as well. The fatigue itself it so frustrating and found i was sleeping in the chair quite a bit. At the moment I cannot seem to find a comfy position at night and am napping during the day to catch up but is no problem as the day goes quicker and so does the healing. I had my own gift shop for 16 years but found i was falling down the stairs due to fatigue and had to sell my shop and home above it for a bungalow 6 years ago.. I was breaking bones and landed up moving in my bungalow in a wheelchair with a broken leg..Goodness knows how i managed to unpack it was such a mess and now seems health issues plague me, i cannot quite understand why. Now I know I had an underlying silent killer going on inside and is a bitter sweet outcome.   After we communicated, i looked at my facebook to find a good friend passed away with cancer whom we met at Dickens week in June. So sad to say the least and was only in his 20's. Obviously many condolences are being written from the Community who knew him...but how unfair is this cancer!!. I only really understood kidney problems until now. christine.