Hi Nicki,

Welcome to Cancer Chat although I’m sure that you would rather be anywhere else. You will find this site very useful in helping you to come to terms with your diagnosis. All of our contributors either have cancer themselves or they are looking after someone with cancer. They have first-hand experience and are fully conversant with the psychological as well as the physiological aspects of this horrible disease.

Cancer doesn’t just affect the patients but their families as well. Sometimes you will feel that you don’t want to burden your familily with concerns that they know nothing about and it is easier to talk to others who are more au-fait with your encounters.

I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but glad to learn that your cancer is one of the less aggressive forms and was encapsulated. I am so glad that you were lucky enough to work alongside a consultant who was able to advise you to take action. I think that many of us feel as if we are on a roller coaster from the moment of diagnosis until surgery and treatment have finished. It is so difficult to cope with this and there does seem to be a disbelief  that you are the patient and not the nurse.

By virtue of the type of disease that we are dealing with, speed is of the essence and things tend to move quickly for tests, results, surgery and treatments. Individuals react differently to stress. Some people will go to pieces and make a huge hue and cry, whilst others try to block out the news and others become almost numb. It can take quite some time to come to terms with your diagnosis no matter how we react initially. If you were just diagnosed in May it is still early days for you. You may yet find yourself crying at every turn – if so, just let the tears flow, as they are a great release valve.

I understand where you are coming from with going back to work. Try not to worry about your appearance and carry on laughing and smiling as usual. The chances are that nobody will notice but you. The more self-conscious you feel, the more likely you are to draw attention to yourself, whereas if you act as normal, I’m sure that nobody will notice your lip.

As far as your work is concerned you will probably be even more empathetic with your patients, now that you are both in the same unenviable club. There are various self-help groups and counsellors to help you come to terms with your diagnosis. Sometimes your cancer hospital may run courses too. These suit some people and not others. The help offered seems to vary from one region to another. I would ask your care team if you are interested in these. They are usually free of charge. Chatting to others on this forum may also prove to be helpful for you.

I do hope that you manage to move forward and manage to make a good transition back to work. There is always someone here whenever you want to talk.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, thankyou for you words of kindness and support, time is a healer, I hope whatever your journey that your ok, Nicki xx