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Mum terminal bowel cancer

Smith1
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Hi new to this my mum diagnosed last month bowel cancer and told two weeks ago advanced and in lungs and liver and cannot be operated on And chemo not really option as she's so weak. 

Be glad any coping tips of anyone to get through this tough time. 

we got good McMillan nurse and good family support just like roller coaster ride and finding out things so quickly. 

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    Hi Smith,

    Welcome to the forum, although I'm sure that you would rather be anywhere else but here. I am sorry to hear about your Mum. A cancer diagnosis affects the whole family and i am glad that you are all behind her for support.

    My Mum had breast cancer for 11 years and developed secondaries in liver, lungs, brain and bones in her final year. There was no more treatment to be had at this stage, so we just had to be there for her. This was a very difficult spell for all the family. We felt frustrated in that there was so little that we could do for her. We tried to make her as comfortable as possible, ensured that she got the medication she needed, Made sure that finger and toe nails were cut regularly and let her know how much we all loved her.

    The one thing that really made a difference to her was getting her hair washed. She was too weak for us to do it, but a junior nurse in the hospital told her that she used to be a hairdresser and that she would wash her hair the following day. She came in the next day with some rollers and duly washed her hair. For my Mum this was better than any lottery win! See if there is anything in particular that your Mum would like to do while she can. Are there any family or friends that she would like to see?

    Your McMillan nurse will probably have other ideas for you too. This is a time for family to be strong, no matter how hard it is to do so. Has your Mum got any favourite music, books or poetry that you could relay to her?

    This is a heartbreaking time and I wish you all the strength to get through it.

    There is always someone here to support you all if you feel the need. Please keep in touch and let us know how your Mum gets on.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Sorry just worked out how to see your message. My mum at home and comfortable in bed but 7 weeks ago she was well and in holiday just so difficult to understand she is so ill and McMillan nurse has said weeks left, the only positive thing we got time to speak to her and spend time with her

  • Offline in reply to Smith1

     

    Hi Smith¿

    It must be so difficult for your family to come to terms with your Mum's diagnosis when things are progressing so quickly.

     I am glad to.hear that you have her.at.home and hope that you can manage.to keep her there until the end. It is easier for all concerned if she can stay there rather than In an impersonal hospital or hospice.

    I am thinking of and praying for you all at this difficult time.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

     

     

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Not been in for while my mum was diagnosed 7 July and died 27 july

    as family we were in shock this so fast the cancer was in her bowel, lungs and liver

    we trying to copewith this as family and still have our dad to help and support each other main thing. We find talking to each other helps lot and helping each other when one is more emotional than other. 

     

  • Offline in reply to Smith1

     

    Hi Smith,

    I am so sorry to hear the sad news about your mum and want to send you and your family my sincere sympathy. Your poor mum didn’t get long after her diagnosis. Did you manage to keep her at home until the end? I hope that you did, because she was still at home when you replied to me, the day before she passed.

    Some families find it hard to talk about their loved ones, but it is so much easier for the whole family when you can talk to one another and, help to support each other through this difficult time.

    I hope that you are all coming to terms with her death and are beginning to be able to accept it. I am sure that your dad must feel lost and will need a lot of support now.

    Christmas will be a sad time this year without your mum at the table. Other birthdays and anniversaries will also hit you, particularly this first year.

    I am thinking of and praying for you and your family.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thanks yes my mum stayed at home with all family with her when she died. 

    We are close family and all supporting each other thanks for your support 

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