Hi

My parents are both in their 70s. 

In the last few days my dad has been diagnosed with colon cancer. We have been told that we will find out this week what stage it is. Dad also has anxiety issues and takes medication for this. 

My mum has CLL, diagnosed nearly 2 years ago after a stressful 2 year period.  It started with my mum's sister losing her husband to cancer just 6 weeks after being diagnosed. Then her mother was diagnosed 'out of the blue' with 2 inoperable masses on her brain, and passed away a few weeks later. This all coincided with Dad's anxiety issues being at their worst which put extra strain on her. Then my brother's wife, (who has previously received a kidney transplant) had a stroke (aged 42) which has left her with impaired sight and some mobility issues, followed by a diagnosis of breast cancer 6 weeks later (treated by removal of the lump and radio therapy).  Also during this time my marriage of 24 years ended suddenly and my daughter was struggling with depression and anxiety at university, all of which upset my parents greatly. This all happened 2014-2015. Our GP suggested that stress could exacerbate the progress of the CLL. Her latest blood tests showed raised levels and she will be seeing the specialist in a couple of weeks. 

Obviously I want to support them both, while respecting their privacy and independence. However Mum has a tendency to take too much burden on her own shoulders, and with the CLL this worries me more than ever. 

I live about 10 minutes away from my parents, and my daughter and her fiance will be moving away into their first home together in the next few weeks as they will both be starting new jobs.  My brother lives over an hour away and has more worries and responsibilities with his wife and teenage twin boys, so while he is also very willing to support our parents as much as possible, on a practical level I am better placed to help out with any day-to-day issues.

I have joined this forum hoping for a place to talk things over as everyone else in my life has enough on their plates already and I don't want to add to their burdens by offloading onto any of them. (I hope that's ok?)

Would also be grateful for any advice on how to encourage my parents to let me help them both, without intruding on their independence/privacy.

Thank you