Hello Margie,

How sad that your Dad's illness is the reason for your visit from Australia. I know that it is impossible to predict how much time he has left, but have you spoken to his Care team about this? They can usually be pretty accurate with their predictions. It must be particularly difficult for you when you are an only child. Do you have any other relatives in the UK who can support you?

My mother died in 1997 from terminal cancer.  She initially had breast cancer for 12 years, but it then spread to her liver, lungs, brain and bone. At this stage she went downhill very quickly. I found it heartbreaking to watch her decline. Like you, I run my own business and lived overseas from my Mum. It became quite an expense travelling to see her every weekend. It was also very harrowing at the end and I felt quite frustrated by how little I could do for her. I was with her every day for the last couple of weeks. Like you, I was torn between returning home to my family or staying with my Mum. In the end I decided to stay put and was quite glad that I had opted for this, as her end came very suddenly.

There is no hard and fast rule about how a terminal cancer progresses. It will depend on the type of cancer and the organs involved. People in themselves are different too. You have a good reason for wanting to know, so don’t be afraid to press his care team on the subject.

I sincerely hope that you make the right decision.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx