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Dad has terminal bowel cancer

Clare06
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Hello, 

I'm not really sure what I'm looking from here but have seen a lot of people saying they have found support from doing so. 

My dad is 56 and has incurable bowel cancer. He was diagnosed just over a year ago and has been having chemo up until about a month ago. After a meeting with his consultant they decided to stop the treatment as its not helping, and going forward they will focus on managing his pain. I don't know how long he has left, I'm too scared to ask. 

I am the main person my dad has to rely on. I'm an only child.. He has a few brothers but they are pretty useless. 

He has been in and out of hospital several times recently, mainly me taking him and visiting him all the time (along with working full time) and his pain seems to be getting worse.

I just don't really know what to do, I feel like I'm bottling everything up but I just can't talk about it without crying. I feel like I am completely alone trying to cope with it because no one else really understands.

I'm also struggling with work, they know briefly what's going on but they don't know how bad it is. I feel like I can't talk about it because I will just break down but if I don't tell them I will just get more and more stressed. 

Just wondered if anyone had any advice at all? 

Thanks for reading x 

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    Hi My dad has the same. He was diagnosed in January this year with no symptoms at all and he has cancer of the bowel, liver and foots on his lung. His was stage four and incurable ... they don't give much away but use the word 'miracle' a lot. Like if a miracle happens and the chemo was to shrink it .... he has had four of the six rounds of chemo but not been very well they stopped it and re scanned him last week. We go for the results on Thursday and I'm so nervous. I feel like you alone and that no one understands. I'm always normally so happy go lucky and now it infuriates me that people around me can just go on carefree with their business... enjoying holidays and days out when all I want to do is have a good day with dad .... give him just a little more quality of life time. I wonder how you talk to your dad about the illness now you know there is nothing else they can do ? I have no words. it a hopeless feeling and I don't feel like I can offer you support in saying things will get better but only to say I'm here going through the same. If you need to talk or just sound off I am happy to listen. Sending you a hug lindsey
  • Offline in reply to lindsey_s

    I'm sorry that you are both facing this.

    My partner was diagnosed March 10 with bowel cancer together with liver and lung mets. He was given a matter of weeks/months and had two courses of palliative chemo but sadly died 17 May at home in his own bed. 

    I gave up work to nurse him and am so grateful that I had that time with him.  It is a very lonely place being a carer.  Luckily I found solace in this website.

    My advice for what it is worth is to talk with them and hold their hands etc. my partner waited until I went out of the room before he passed.

    I hope this helps a little. x

     

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