Welcome to Cancer Chat, tired21 although I’m sorry for the reasons that bring you here.

It sounds like you and your partner are going through a lot so I’m glad you found us as talking about our problems often helps.

I’m sure some of our members will soon be along to offer their support and advice but do feel free to search our forum for stories similar to yours and join the conversation. 

If you feel that it might help to talk to someone on the phone, our cancer nurses are available on this telephone number 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9 a.m - 5 p.m.

Good luck for your partner's appointment on the 19^th and if you find a moment do come back to keep us posted on how you both are doing.

Best wishes,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi tired21, 

I just saw your post and on behalf of the moderation team I wanted to offer you our sincerest condolences on the passing of your husband.

I'm glad he had a peaceful passing but I can understand how you are feeling at the moment as will many of our members who have been in this position and hopefully some of them will post soon to offer their support.

Post as much as you need to tired21 and remember that we will always be here if you need us.

Kind Regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

some days are better than others, just went to a family bbq but had to come away in tears.

His funeral is this friday I am dreading it but will have to be strong.  He has one sister still alive and a son who did not bother with him for 4 months before he was diagnosed.  His son lives with his mother and I find that she is quietly stirring things (his son is 56 I might add). His sister keeps telling me how close they were its on the tip of my tongue to tell her what he was saying to me in his last few days but I won't.

I know be the better person and let it all go over my head as what we had they can never be take away.

I never realised how lonely I would be, I was lonely being his carer but at least he was there.  Now there is just me and the cat.  My family are great but his are acting as  if nothing has happened. Why should I be surprised they never bothered with him when he was alive so why bother with me now.

I am so glad that he made his will in the end as Im sure they would have taken our home from me. 

Sorry to rant a bit and I dont expect an answer back.I know there are so many people in the same boat I wish you all well. x

well 6 weeks on and it is not getting any easier. 

I do have some of his ashes now and have managed to sleep in his bed again, it was our bed until he had his prostate out 11 years ago. I get great comfort from being able to touch his casket.

His son has not bothered with me for the past 4 weeks but did phone to say that he had not phoned because he had broken his toe.  Since when did you make a phone call using your toe? 

I've more or less sorted his garage out now but have 2 sheds and a loft to go through.  Little steps though as people keep reminding me it is still early days.

Thinking of all the other people that are going or have gone through this nightmare

Hi there, I'm sorry to see the journey you're on. Life is really tough. My worst time was week 5, the journey just changes as it goes. It's a roller coaster you never wanted to be on x

Hello, I am sorry to read your posts.  It is a hard hard life changing experience that nobody wants to go through.   My 35 year old son died this January, nine months after diagnosis with bowel cancer and full liver mets.  We are still trying to learn to live our lives without him.  There is no instruction manual to tell us how to cope, People behave differently with you.  It is a lonely place to be.  I hope you have family and friends to help you.

love lesliexx

thank you for replying, I also lost my dad in January this year and my partner and I were looking forward to some us time but it wasn't to be.

x