Also my dads been gone 15 weeks now and I still cannot believe it like I think he’s on holiday or something but I’ve found this a great comfort people have told me delete it but you people on her are truely the only ones that understand which draws us all closer god bless again one day at a time you never know the hospital could be wrong with time as they don’t teuely know and that’s what the Macmillan nurse use to tell me xx

I am so sorry to read about dad I know it must be devastating to you. This just such a horrible time in your life and I can understand how you are feeling. I know you must feel lost at the moment but somehow you will get through this although you probably can't think this way now.

I hope things can get better for you. 

Thank you for your message it means a lot like that someone’s thinking of me cause you do feel very alone at times like this x

Dear Apes

Sorry about your husband!  I was diagnosed with stage 4 Cholangiocarcinoma 26 months ago.  I live in California.  It is non operable.  I had 30 rounds of chemo and have now had 4 infusions of Keytruda.  All I can say is love him and help him.  If you don't mind why is he just diagnosed?  How long has he been jaundice?  I don't have jaundice but the cancer is causing fluid buildup in my abdomen and need it drain once a week.  Enjoy the time you have together.  I just turned 70 so I am comfortable with family situation and have no fear of death.  Obviously the younger you are the more tragic it is.  

Hi I'm so sorry my dad got had bile duct cancer and had stents the Camera down the neck was only in for day case and dad was ok after maybe abit it belly ache .the first one when they tried to get out and replace was wedge under skin so had to put another one on top of it silly right u think they would know but it done the job and jaundice went and dad started going out again to put on his bet and have a pint but we had to buy him a scooter as his back was effecting the way he walked. They had given him 6 to 12 months or maybe longer. Then his belly got really swollen maybe 4 weeks later so he had to go in and have it drained through his side they took 4 pint of this asites and dad felt much better . While he was in hospital for this I wheeled him over as he had another appointment they then gave him 6 months if that as this asites shows them it's more advanced even tho dad felt fine that was 24 March we lost dad 8 weeks later i saw him on the Monday he was fine eating and on the Tuesday he had internal bleeding and was dead within a hour of reaching hospital. All I can say  cherish every moment and try not to keep asking u ok? Do you have pain? What do you fancy for dinner? My dad got very ratty at this saying just leave him alone a lot of time was looking into thin air obviously thinking deep. When he was told 6 months he paid for his funeral and got all his affairs down on paper and have his sister sign it me and his partner knew nothing of this cherish every moment tell him how much you love him and what a great dad n husband he has been and if there's anything not to active he wants to do just do it as we never know how long they have left. You no it's been 5 months now and I'm still thinking he's coming back cannot accept it I'm his daughter and was really close I also feel guilty cause I haven't cracked up like I didn't love him . Thing I miss most is that big hug and kiss . Keep strong as your going to have to be there for him it's a nasty and quick kind of cancer and as you say they no best. Have they offered him palliative care yet? That will keep him comfortable with pain also are great to talk to . I wish you all the best my heart goes out to you maybe your husband will carry on proving them wrong I do hope so love and hugs Charlene xx

Hi ya

Thing is, we are mostly packed up ready to move, so we started to sleep downstairs in the lounge because my own health it was going to be a tough job packing up the house, Hubby was feeling very lethargic & I knew something wasn’t right, for him to have & sit me sob while in pain trying to move things he must be feeling really bad, So sleeping & being in the lounge we have rather large very overlooked patio doors & hubby decided he would no longer open them, people then can’t look in , in the light of this room he looks normal colour and so when I started to catch glimpses of yellow in his eyes was around 5 months ago, but when he was looking in the mirror we couldn’t see it, I managed to drag him off to the doctor just a couple of weeks back & as soon as we walked out into the daylight I see it, he was actually bright yellow!! I feel guilty because I couldn’t see it for so long, but all have said that it doesn’t notice so much inside the house. He has dropped over 3 stone too. Now the thing is, he was rushed through for tests and in a week & half we have this diagnosis, but he has no pain, he has no bloating, he doesn’t stop eating, he seems to be hungry all the time, no feeling sick, no swollen anything and yet there was this doctor telling us no cure! Once the doctor realised that hubby had gained weight and is actually looking & feeling a bit better than he was, well he seemed confused by that & that’s when he changed his mind & started to talk about treating him. 

I am sorry that you too are having to go through this, it’s really not fair, I can’t loose him, not at all really but I know that’s not possible, but especially not now, after all these years bringing up children, our first place on our own , we was looking forward to it & now we are both sat in a house full of boxes just praying to who ever will listen to give us more time.

good luck with your fight, you sound like a very brave man xxxxx

I’m so sorry for you, I lost my parents not long ago, it’s horrible, I miss them so much right now, I’m in such a panic, every time he goes to sleep I’m reading more & more and find myself not sleeping because I’m watching him.

he doesn’t even know I’ve joined here, I’m trying to keep him as fit & healthy as possible but he’s eating anything he can get his hands on.

All that you said I’m doing, he does enjoy being fussed over & he has made jokes about it all too. But from the day they fit this stent & take a biopsy I’m worried it will upset things in there & make him more poorly like your Dad, I’m very very anti hospital myself, especially ours, I find it very hard to trust them, to many bad melodies the place, if we drove I’d try a different one & im thinking I may well want a second opinion depending on the results of this biopsy.

i need years not months, I don’t want the word months to come out the doctors mouth. Hubby wishes he had never gone to the GP, then he would have just carried on thinking he’d had some infection & was on the mend, this of course has made him feel ill, has me too, he is me, I am him, we are like one. It doesn’t seem possible, I keep thinking I’m gonna wake up & it’s a bad dream, he is sleeping right now, got his legs over me, he looks so peaceful bless him, I totally adore him. I’m trying so hard to hold it together & carry on packing the house, he needs to be moving into our new place with me, I need him with me, I’ve accepted the diagnosis I think, I had read so much once I see him turning yellow that I’d already read about this cancer, it’s a rare one so kinda dismissed it, but I think I knew, call it a gut feeling, in fact the last year has all been so strange with all that’s happened I’m beginning to think we both knew something bad was coming, we just didn’t know what or when, I’ve some brilliant memories of the last year. Trouble is in making those memories we rinsed our bank & neither of us is insured, Hubby says” right! That’s it, I ain’t dying cause we just can’t afford it, they will have to wait” lol ever the clown.

thank you sweetheart for answering me

much love to you xxxxx

Aw bless you I would do the same and rinse them bank it's no good when your gone just keep strong google sent me mad with my dad and when I came across this room I found it so helpful and addictive also came across some lovely people even now my dads gone I think I'm still doing good by sharing my dads experience . My heart goes out to you swear it really touches me the way you love him soooooo much is lovely any time you want a chat rant whatever ur welcome to contact me ok love you have a good night and remember everyone is different and I hope you get years too x

Not brave, just older and have faith in God.  (Not necessarily to heal me but that everything will be OK in the end). I have lost 40 pounds in the 26 months. (244 down to 204)  very weak, have lost most muscle strength.  Has anybody ever told you, you talk funny over there