Hello everyone,

i have been reading your heartbreaking stories for a couple of weeks now. Every single story breaks my heart and  I cry buckets of tears for each and every one of you and your families, the pain you are all going through is palpable, your courage inspires me.

This is my story: I have lived in Australia for close to 20 years.

My biological father died four years ago of lung cancer in the  UK. I never got to say goodbye to him, I didn't even know he was sick, because even though we loved each other and there was no bad feelings between us, we had kind of drifted apart, just getting on with our lives. I would see him when I went home. ( my parents separated when I was 10). His wife never told us he was sick. Apparently he died  only a couple of months after his diagnosis. I still can't find out where he is buried to go and say goodbye. It broke my heart, and I still cry about it.

Now, my beautiful step dad  of 42 years has recently been diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, also in the UK.

he started chemo this week and is desperately sick from the treatment.

i keeping wanted to scream " it isn't fair' because he is the kindest man I have known, nothing is ever too much trouble for him to help others and he has never asked for a thing, never says a bad word about anyone. He has worked hard all his life and retired last year, and now this. He tries to be strong, and play it down( !!!!)  for our sake, but when I spoke to him on the phone the other day I could tell he was crying. All he does is worry about my mum and us.

I work full time and like most people don't have thousands in the bank, but I am leaving my life in Australia and taking leave without pay for a few months to be with him and my mum and take care of them (mum has advanced emphysema and onset dementia) the doctors say he has months, not years. We all think mum will join him not long after when he passes over. The saddest trip ever.

this has shook me to my core, and I find myself being overwhelmed with emotion and tears at the most I inappropriate times.

thank you  for reading my long winded  post.

i wish you all love and courage xxx

i