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Jan1110
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I am 61 and my husband has incurable bowel cancer that has spread to his lungs and an adrenal gland. We have a very supportive family, but I find each day is more difficult to cope with than the last. I would be very keen to hear of any coping strategies that carers would like to share. At the moment, mine seem to be overeating, buying lots of stuff I don't really want or need, crying or pretending everything is fine! Look forward to getting to know you! Jan x

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    Hi Jan,

    You did the right thing in reaching out to other carers on this forum and it's a great idea to share coping strategies and generally to know that you are not alone and there are other people at the moment who are also looking after a loved one with cancer and also finding that each day is more difficult than the last.

    I welcomed [@LoopyLinda18]‍ just a few days ago who is going to be looking after her mum at home. You can read her story here and don't hesitate to respond to her if you wish - I am sure she will like to hear from an experienced carer like yourself.

    You are right to try and find coping strategies and to find ways to look after yourself too. Another lovely lady here [@jules54]‍ also cared for her husband and I am sure she will have some great coping suggestions to share with you. Knowing Jules, it might have involved a good book and a bit of gardening ;)

    We have some information on our website on caring for the carer which you can read here.

    I hope you will get talking here soon to others who understand how you are feeling at the moment and who have been in your situation before or are currently facing the same challenges as you.

    It would be great to see carers care for one another on this thread and share tips and experiences.

    Best wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Lucie

    Hi Jan 

    Have just read your post and wanted to add my welcome to this forum. Your comments as to how you are trying to cope whilst your husband takes his cancer journey resonated with me as it pretty much covered my reactions for my own hubby's 3 year incurable cancer journey. I felt pretty rubbish at times but found it a help to offload on the forum as received an understanding and words of support that helped my inner support network.

    Ways to cope? Well in small steps and more or less day to day depending on how hubby was doing. Despite my own fears and frustrations I had to  learn to completely follow his needs which varied greatly as time progressed. Do not be afraid to ask for the support you may both require and try to make little periods of me time. I don't think that there is a right or wrong way to cope but talking it through or writing down how you feel can sometimes help to give some perspective.

    Happy to chat if it helps. My hubby was reluctant to discuss his illness and wanted life as normal as possible and I  still wonder if there were things I  could have done better though realistically retail therapy and bouts of comfort eating were signs of my stress and perhaps a necessary coping mechanism at times . Be kind to yourself and take care. Jules 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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