Hello to everyone,

I'm new to some of these CRUK forum areas, though sadly not to grief, and for those of you with parents and other loved ones with brain cancer, not new to that either.

What happened: My Mum was diagnosed in September 2014 having become ill the month before. Everything moved very, very fast, not allowing anyone's mind to truly catch up. One day (a Friday) she was out walking with my Dad and seeing friends. The next day, she suddenly couldn't walk - as quick as it sounds. By the Tues (3 days later) a CT scan found a single large tumour, and by the Fri an MRI showed the 5 brain tumours she really had, 1 of which was causing the main mobility problems, and prominently so on one side. However, it was not until early Sept the official Primary CNS Lymphoma diagnosis came following biopsies, and post chemo in the November that the terminal diagnosis came as it had failed. Everything felt like it fell apart for her and for us as her family (my father and I). I have two stepbrothers, one who was exceptionally unsupportive and remains so. I'd started a new relationship in March 2014 and a new job in September 2014 for which I'd interviewed two days before Mum's illness started. Everything in 2014 was piling on in different ways but it has got relatively better despite ups and downs in Mum's condition, and ongoing day-to-day issues associated with mobility issues. She also has painful arthritis, not helped by rubbish weather and not getting out to walk lately - treatment restored her walking but not some other capacities and there have been personality changes too. 

Coping wise: we all carry on as best we can on a day-to-day basis, and I provide support to my Mum and Dad as often as possible. I slightly reduced F/T hours at work to get one day off per fortnight (through a flexible working request), plus I go round at other times too. I keep hobbies and encourage my Dad to go out as well as Mum is relatively stable at the moment, we just don't know how long for. My partner and I also married last year and we're expecting our first baby in July this year. I recognise I'm lucky to have support too. I find these forums are useful when I get chance to use them, and also talking to my partner is helpful. I do still cry, I get angry and sad and everything imaginable in-between that we would all associate with grief. I am also just learning that those emotions are okay and also to feel less guilty when I think things like the following: 'am I there for Mum and Dad enough' 'can't all this just end'. I watched the film A Monster Calls recently as it explores the latter and thought it was brilliant.