Hi it seems like you are trying to deal with it in your own way.  When I got told I had breast cancer, the consultant just looked at me as I was asking questions and not the least bit in shock.  He had to get a nurse to come in and repeat what he said and I basicially stopped her mid way to let her know I'm not a reactive person and will deal with my feelings later.  And I did - had meltdown several times.  Everyone deals with things in their own way - we are all inidividualistic and you are being perfectly normal as you are being you.  Keep talking as it helps.  People are just trying to help in their own way by saying you're strong - i got the same thing as I am someone who takes control and gives so much strength to everyone.  It certainly went - the strength but it comes back.  Your reaction is normal - please don't think anything otherwise.  This forum certainly was helpful for me.  Good luck with op and chemo.