Cancer Research UK main site

So unbelievably sad

Ajnewie
Offline

My Dad passed away last Tuesday night at 11.55pm (07/02). 

My Dad was diagnosed with cancer in December 2015 and underwent chemo and radiotherapy. He was told on 19/12/16 that the treatment hadnt worked and not touched the tumour and he had 1-3 months but 6 if lucky. Sadly he didn't even make 2.

The reason for me writing is that my pain and sadness seems to be getting worse by the day. I thought helping to plan the funeral would help to keep me focused and do one last special thing for my Dad (not until 6th March!) but it isnt.

I am lucky to have friends and family who care but i feel so angry and irritated by anyone being around me. I know my Dad is no longer suffering and I was lucky to be able to hold his hand in the hours leading up to his last breath.

People say that time makes things easier but i am just so desperately sad and lonely.

Thanks for reading xx

  • Offline

    Hi,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. You are bound to feel sad and it's not unusual that you may start to feel worse. I think that shock and denial can take away some of the pain to begin with. Anger is also totally natural, and you have every right to feel angry as what has happened to your dad isn't fair.

    I very recently lost my mum after a 6 week battle with pancreatic cancer. I too feel anger every day and resentfulness towards anyone who has parents (as I also lost my dad to cancer in 1996). For me, I've found ways to channel my anger so that I'm able to tolerate people more, so I've started to write about it. But you could also try running, cycling or even a punch bag, or just scream and punch your pillow - whatever works for you.

    The main thing is that feeling angry, sad, lost, lonely are all perfectly normal and you need to allow yourself to feel these emotions so that you can grieve properly.

    Stay strong and hold onto your memories. 

    X

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.