Hi peni22

you dont say how old you are, but I can assure you you aren't alone.

im 27 and have just found out my mums lung cancer is terminal, she's only 54 doesn't smoke and is incredibly unlucky to have cancer a second time in less than 5 years (first was bowel) 

its important to take time out of work/college and spend time with your mum and process your feelings. I have had a week off to cry and do things that make me smile to make me feel better.

its such a scary thing to go through, it's the unknown and the thought of seeing your mum ill and not being able to do anything that i find hardest. 

Just remember to be kind to yourself and talk openly and honestly with your mum xx

Hi, I'm not as young as you but lost my mum very quickly to cancer just over a year ago.  Spend as much time with your mum as you can and want to, it won't always be easy or enjoyable but you don't get a second chance and the comfort your strength and love will give your mum is priceless.

i continually wish I'd had time to do more, say more, tell her more, hug her more and let her know how much she was loved.

x

Hi Peni22, 

I'm 23 and can relate to this so much. I was 21 when I first found out about my mums cancer. I was so worried about my mum all the time and I found it so hard to find the positives in it. 

But my mum was diagnosed in April 2015 with breast cancer, she went through chemo, mastectomy and then radiotherapy. She got the all clear, but in April 2016 we found out the cancer had returned in her liver and bones and was in fact terminal. 

We never were told a time period for my mum, but she unfortunately lost her battle in November 2016 when the cancer had spread to all her vital organs. My mum was 47 when she died. 

I know throughout my mums battle with cancer I had to be positive for my mum but found it hard to deal with everything at the time as my mum never really talked that much about time scale. And quite a lot of time towards the end of her life, my mum also used to say she was fine when in fact she wasn't. My mum throughout her battle wrote diaries and when me and my dad were going through her things after she died. We found that she was writing saying how much she was in pain, but didn't want to say anything (as she knew she was dying and that they couldn't do anything else for her) she also didn't tell anyone as her and my dad were planning on going down to Cornwall. 

All you can do is be there for your mum and try and make as many memories as possible. My mum was always trying to do that when she found out her cancer was terminal. My mum also had a bucket list of things she wanted to achieve and see/do she only managed 3 of the things on that list. :( 

I have found that talking on these types of forums has helped me a lot deal with my feelings. As I've spoken to my friends and they don't know really understand what I'm going through. You're not alone I've found that so many people are suffering exactly how I did or similarly on these forums. 

Steff xx

Thank you for replying! 

I'm sorry to hear that, that must have been extremely diffcult. You are right, the best thing to do is to be around her as much as I can, and to be honest my happiest moments are when I'm in her company, so I will try and make that happen. It breaks my heart to think that one day I will look back and whish I had done more. 

I hope you cope well with everything x

Thank you for answering my post,

Wow that sounds very similar to my case. My mom puts on such a façade and I know she is struggling a lot, she is also writing a diary! It's such a difficult time because she never says much about it and wants to keep the worse information to herself, so I never really know how everything is going... I just guess when she doesn't say much it means it's bad. 

I am so sorry to hear about your mom, at such a young age it's so unfair. I can't imagine how you cope because I really don't know what I will do, sometimes I'm just in a state where I almost forget what's going on and I'm just in a bubble, I try to remind myself of the reality to cope better in the long run. Thank you, really. I hope everyhring gets a bit easier xx