Grieving for my sister

My younger sister was diagnosed 13 yearsago with a malignant brain tumour, aged 37 years old! At the time of diagnosis they gave her 2-4years to live, however, she was a true fighter and after an operation which then led to a bleed the same day, intense radiotherapy and numerous courses of chemotherapy she managed to keep going for 13years, bless her. She had short-term memory loss and had to live with my mum as wasn't safe to live on her own. However, the time came where they could no longer do anything for her, we had to put her in a nuring home for her own safety as she would have lots of dizzy spells and fall, basically had to have 24hr care. She lasted for &weeks in there, watching her deteriorate in the last 3 wks was heartbreaking. I was with her til she took her last breath, it was so emotional and traumatic at the same time, we sang songs to her, played her favorite tunes and cudled up to her on the bed. I went on auto pilot after her passing, helping mum arrange the funeral etc and think it finally hit me around 6wks later when I realised I wouldn't see her again. Im really struggling & can't stop crying, I miss her so much, we used to work together, live tigether and socialise together before she was ill and only lived up the road from me so saw lots of her before going into thr nursing home! I write poems for her, which just come into myhead at all hours of the day but would give anything to have her back. Why is life so cruel?

  • Hello dawnie10,

    I am so sorry for your loss. Our sincere condolences from the Cancer Chat team. It sounds like you were very close to your sister and it must be a real shock for you and difficult to process even though she had been ill for so many years. It is incredible that she kept going for 13 years but watching her deteriorate at the moment must have been truly heartbreaking for you.

    How moving that you write poems for her and I hope writing helps you feel a little better.

    Many of our members have sadly also lost a loved one recently and I hope you can support one another through these tough moments and through the indescribable pain of losing a loved one.

    Best wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Lucie Thankyou for responding, this site is really helping even though I've only just recently joined. Its good to chat to people who are going through the same or similar circumstances, Thankyou for providing this amazing site for us all & I will be recommending it to a couple of my other friends who are going through tough times at the moment. Dawnie10
  • Thank you for the kind words Dawnie. I am so glad that the site is helping you. We are also very grateful for your recommendations to your friends - we are there for them too so they are welcome to join at any time!

    Lucie