Hi Sue and a big welcome to our friendly forum,

Things must have been pretty tough for you since your husband's diagnosis in September and it's a shame that the cancer had spread to his adrenal glands and liver and was inoperable and that he had to stop chemotherapy. You seem to be looking after him really well and it's great that he is eating and drinking and not having any pain.

As you say, even if you have very supportive friends and family, you are the only person who can truly understand the rollercoaster you have been on since his diagnosis and it is normal as a result to feel alone at times. You have come to the right place though to meet others who are going through the same at the moment and who would also like to reach out and share their story. I hope that you will meet many here who are also looking after a loved one with cancer. One name for example springs to my mind [@jules54]‍ whose husband sadly passed away but she also looked after him really well and she will completely understand how you are feeling at the moment.

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Sue,

Had been away for a few days and only just seen your post (with Moderator Lucie giving me a mention too!).

I joined the forum when my husband was diagnosed as felt much the same as you in that although I had a couple of good friends plus family for support, I did not always feel like I could vent my own feelings openly. The 'readers/posters' on this site were so supportive and understanding and if I can in any small way return the favour with others here, I am happy to do so.

It is good to read that at the moment your husband is continuing to eat and drink and most importantly is pain free but can relate to that feeling of your life being on hold.  We used to refer to it as being in limbo as had no idea of what a rollercaster ride through my hubby's journey it would be.  Whilst he suffered from a different form of cancer to that of your husband, we had a terminal diagnosis from the start but with an 'open' timeline.  His palliative chemo was stopped after just a few treatments because his body was not coping well and at times I felt positively useless as it all seemed outside of my control. Feel free to chat again if you wish and in the meantime take good care of yourself as you are already doing a great job on the caring side.  Jules54