Hi maid 975 and welcome. I too have not been a member very long. I am so sorry to hear about your husband. My husband has liver cancer. He was diagnosed 4 and a half years ago. So far it has not spread, but he is due very shortly for another scan to see if the tumour(s) have grown enough to ablate as that is the only treatment he can have. I like you  have all sorts of thoughts and varying emotions but I do try to keep up beat and smiley for him. He was oiffered a transplant twice but the risks are too great as he had a major stroke in June 2001 and they say it could actually cause another one if they try a transplant and that he would die, therefore we just carry on waiting for the next scan and the results. I also feel very isolated and feel like I am in limbo so if you wish to have a chat with me then please I would be happy to hear from you. Please take care of both your husband and yourself. x