Hello, 

Just found out yesterday that my dad has a large tumour on his lung which the doctor thinks is too large to operate on. Waiting on more tests over coming week to find out more. We're all devastated and even though we knew something was wrong (he's been in a lot of pain and lost 10kg) it's been a massive shock as it's been weeks not months he's not felt great.  Yesterday, I saw my dad go from a strong man to a vulnerable, poorly and worried man.

 He's being unbelievably brave but I think that's to protect us and I feel helpless. This morning I woke up after taking hours to get to sleep and felt like I'd been hit with the news all over again. I was a mess, tonight I'm stronger as I've spent time with my mum today who wasn't coping.  I know there's not much can be done until the results come in, then hopefully a plan can begin if anything can be done but I don't know how to get my mum,dad and children through this. Is it normal to go through one hour ok and not the next?  I also spoke to the macmillan nurse today after leaving a garbled message to call me. Is that interfering or are they ok to speak to family members?  Felt like I was taking her time away from other patients. Sorry if I am rambling but I feel like I need to do something instead of crying and worrying about what the future holds. X