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In need of someone who understands

barbara01
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Hi, my name is Natalie.

My world fell apart four years ago when I lost my beautiful son Luke to a rare type of cancer (in someone his age) called Neuroblastoma. He was 21 years of age. 

He was my friend, my soulmate, my world & I miss him dreadfully.

I have a partner (Luke's father), a daughter & a beautiful Granddaughter who I love with all my heart, & a close loving family (mum, dad, sister, brother)

So why do i feel so alone? I find it so hard to talk about Luke with them because this has devastated the whole family. 

My Parents are in their 70's & I feel by sharing how I actually feel inside causes further upset to them. 

I have learned not to talk about my loss with friends as I have noticed it makes people uncomfortable & they seem to change the subject quickly.

I mean, how can anyone possibly understand when they haven't suffered a loss as great as mine? 

Im hoping to be able to talk with people here who have been through similar.

many thanks. Natalie. 

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    Hi Natalie & welcome to this forum

    I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I was only saying yesterday to a neighbour who was driving us to an hospital appt, that losing a child must be the greatest & hardest loss of all as she lost her son in a road accident. He was 21. 

    I can understand your need to talk about Luke &  hope that joining this forum will help even in a small way. 

    Sending u best wishes

    Carol

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    Hello Natalie,

    Welcome to our friendly forum. As Seabird says, losing a child must be the hardest thing imaginable. It sounds like you need to talk to others who have experienced a similar loss and sometimes it is difficult to talk to close family or friends about it.

    There are others on this forum who have experienced the tragic loss of a child and they know exactly how you are feeling. One great person for you to talk to would be the lovely [@LorraineD]‍ who previously mentioned here that she also lost her son and I am sure you would have a lot to say to one another.

    I also noticed that one of our members [@CG]‍ has also sadly just lost her son - you can read her story here and feel free to drop her a line as I am sure she will appreciate words of comfort from someone like you who understands what she is going through at the moment.

    Best wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    I'm sorry, Natalie, that you've had such an awful experience.  I do not know what it must be like for you to live without your son.  I only know a little about feeling alone and not being able to talk to the people close to me about whats in my mind.  Thankfully I found a wonderful counsellor who is able to hear everything I want to say and this is beginning to ease my aloneness.

    best wishes

    Liz

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    Hi Natalie, welcome to the forum, but I am so sorry that you lost your son to cancer. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. It goes against everything we know, but in the real world, it does happen unfortunately. It also is realy the worst possible death to experience. I have lost several members of my family including my parents and two siblings, a former partner, and several good friends, but losing my son goes beyond description. To add to my grief, my son died by suicide which adds a whole new dimension to my loss. My son died 13 years ago and even yet, I still get very emotional when I talk about him, but talk about him I do, because he is always on my mind. I don't mean that I dwell on it all the time, but it is always on my mind. The only people that understand are the parents who have also lost a child to death. What has helped me is doing public speaking on suicide prevention and coping after a suicide. Also, the death of one's child, (no matter how old) is a grief like no other. We, parents who have lost a child, have a special bond with each other that no other parent can ever imagine. Your grief is different than any other grief and you will never "get over" this loss; you will learn to live with it to some degree.

    If you want to talk with me more about this, you can message me on here, or you can private message me as well. Take care, and again, I am so sorry you have lost your son.

    Lorraine

     

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