Hi Weesy, i am so sorry to hear your story.  It sounds like myne.  my mom passed last year after a long battle and my dad took constant care of her...now he just passed a month ago from a very agressive cancer.  I too was not done grieving the loss of my mom, and was so so scared how i would get through the loss of dad also.  if i can offer you any hope, i got and am getting through it.  i feel very very sad and have a hard time being myself (very upbeat and positive)...but i do manage to get through the grief.  i have a very strong faith which pulls me through...i hope the same for you.  Hugs and god bless