Hello Pamela, I was interested to read your post  as my Dad has been having investigations for a shadow on his lung. This was discovered during other tests after he was diagnosed with bowel cancer. He has an appointment with his consultant on 1st November with the results and a decision re the way forward. The waiting is hard.  The thing that struck me most about your post is how positive you are, and your request to keep smiling made me smile too. I have not smiled much lately. I really hope your next scan shows that there has been no further spread. I am so pleased to read you have a supportive family. I know that I need to be strong and supportive for my Dad but am not sure yet how best to do that. I know he will not want to see my tears. What has been most helpful for you? Any thoughts you have on this would be welcome. Please stay in touch. I will look out for your posts. Best wishes Linda xx

Hi Linda thank you for your reply, I want to answer your post sincerly but right now my grandaughter is waiting patiently to take me to buy a new outift whoppeee. I will be back later. Chin up  

Hi Linda, well new outfit all done. I am so sorry to hear about your dad, but you must be positive, this "shadow" could be a number of things - it could really be an old scar from previous infections. It's amazing what they can detect - my brother for instance had a recent chest x ray just run of the mill, but the doctor told him that he had slight scarring on the lung  which he said was very old but still there, he even told him that 20 years ago he had been a smoker can you imagine 20 years ago!! So please don't fret about something that has happened yet. I know you say Dad still has to deal with bowel cancer but things are very positive with this form of cancer. Don't get me wrong, I am not taking this lightly but you must be positive and believe in the treatment they are offering. I think you should convey this to Dad to remain positive and encourage him to go out and live. Believe me I know it's not easy but make the most of life and enjoy your time with Dad.

You didn't say if he is having treatment as yet for the bowel cancer, but if not you must insist on answers this cannot be left.  Your story reminded me of my own dad who passed away several years ago now, he suffered for such a long time but with the new technology this doesn't have to be the case anymore. My dad was a fireman exposed to years of smoke inhalation, but he was a fighter and enjoyed his good days. My mum on the other hand went off dancing one Saturday and had a massive heart attack and I didn't see her again, but she was enjoying what she loved best. I'm not sure what I find easiest really - having time with my dad and encouraging him on or best for mum. Because I am on palliative care and know the situation, my family and I are quite open about the future, we have spoken about what I want to happen,I have distribututed my vaued possessions, and everyone feels fine about it. You may think I sound quite hard but I don't want my family to have any worries so I am doing my best to iron out any problems now, we have a laugh about some of my things and where they came from etc but I know they get upset when they are not with me it's only natural and it's ony natural for you to be upset but please try and remain positive and encourage your dad to be the same.  

I don't know if you have heard about holisitic treatment to be honest I didn't really know what that entailed but after speaking to my oncologist it deals with the person and the mind and not the actual problem. I have done a little research and it has never been evidence based and can cost quite a lot, but thinking about it we can all do that ourselves don't you think? Which is probably a little like how I am coping - training my mind.

I don't feel that I have helped you very much, but hope you can take comfort in some of the things I have mentioned, so get your dad and take him out for a meal or show maybe and enjoy!! 

The very best of luck on 1st Nov, and please let me know how it goes. And don't forget KEEP SMILING

Morning Pamela! Hope you got a great outfit! Thank you so much for your reply and encouraging words. You have helped me- very much.  The hard thing is that my Dad is so tired and weak that going out has become an ordeal for him. So no meal or show. He is not really talking yet about how he feels so we are not yet having any open conversations. I think he is still trying to come to terms with what is happening and waiting for his prognosis. He's not a great talker about feelings and gets embarrassed talking about his bowels, changing the subject when you try.  My Mum is talking about it a lot but out of his earshot. The potential treatment scares me- I'm not ready to lose him but I know how gruelling the treatments are. At the moment he has a good appetite, no pain, just gets very tired and has weak legs. Once the treatment starts he will feel ill and start to suffer. He's 79 and it seems cruel. Yet I know it's his only hope. I'm scared that he will go through painful surgery, followed by radiotherapy- yet will die anyway. Thinking about it makes my head want to explode. I'll try to take your advice and not to fret yet - as we are still waiting to know what they think is best. It may not be as bad as my imagination. I don't know about holistic therapies. I will do a bit of reading up.  Take care. Will keep you posted. Linda xxx

Hi Linda I've been thinking of you and your dad's appointment on 1st I hope the news wasn't bad but please let me know I'm always here if you need to chat take care Pamela 

Hi pamela I'm sorry for your diagnosis, I find its never easy to know what to say to someone who has cancer especially terminal. I get fed up people saying oh I'm sorry, yeah well I'm sorry too lol. I personally have oesophagal cancer which I'm going to fight best I can, 2 rounds of chemo then ivor Lewis oesophagectomy in new year. On a ng tube feed at the moment but what I wouldn't give for something tasty, Chinese I'm thinking while writing this.

I lost my dad to lung cancer 4 yrs ago, we were told he might have 6 months, sadly we got 6 weeks. He took one load of chemo then ended up in hospital, never got him home. 

Keep posting on how you are doing, be positive. Chat away, waking up every morning is a bonus and we should embrace what the day brings us, I'll be thinking of you.

Donna xxxx

Good morning Donna thank you for your reply and I am sorry to hear your sad news too but as  you say what do you say ..... I am so sorry to bring the subject of your dad up it was meant for someone who had been chatting about her dad but I'm new to this site and don't know if you can send personal messages but I'm so sorry if I upset you talking about your dad. 

You are right we both know our problem but I say if we can get out of bed in the morning it's a good day. I know what you mean, I get up pretend that everything is ok put my make up and wig on and face the world but deep down I think is today the day? 

I have just finished my sixth chemo and waiting to see consultant for future treatment. I investigated a treatment offered in Germany and spoke to him about it on my last visit but he told me that nhs have recently approved one of the treatments but cannot fund it. Have you heard of this treatment? I'm not sure of the cost but will ask him on thurs when I see him to get my results from my recent scan and pray that my cancer has not spread anymore. 

Well I hope you are up and ready to face the world today I am going to stay at a hotel tonight at the coast with a friend and make the most of the day. I sincerely hope that you have a good day and don't let it beat you down. If you ever feel like chat I'm always here Good luck Donna

regards Pamela x 

Good afternoon pamela

I'm new to all this forum stuff also, my diagnosis was on 7th October. I  believe that my dad is taking care of me, it's not fair that cancer has hit family twice. No I haven't heard of this treatment.

I've sent a friend request so can personally message, hope you don't mind. Enjoy your night away, what coast are you staying at. 

Yes it's a beautiful day, a bit cold but we are alive.

Take care

Donna xxx

Hello Pamela, Thank you so much for thinking of me. My Dad is to have bowel surgery next Thursday to remove his primary tumour. Will need a stoma- hopefully temporary. As soon as he has recovered sufficiently he will go to Newcastle for chemo for his lung. It's a lot to deal with for a 79 year old. We are trying to stay positive but are terrified. Nothing will ever be the same. How are you? Have you had your scan? xx

Hi Donna home now had lovely time with my mate but the food at hotels is always a Robles but this hotel in Folkestone will always cook a fresh omelette or jacket potatoes etc. so it's quite good really and lovely sea view and nice walk along the prom but I do get quite breathless now but hey ho ......

I hope you are not too bad today keep your chin up. Thanks for the friend request.

i will let you know what I find out about this new treatment when I've spoken to my consultant. 

Keep smiling donna

regards Pamela x