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Dad has weeks - months left - what to do?

Katiek27
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Hi all,

I have been reading lots of comments on here and it has been helpful but it does fill me with sadness that so many of us have to go through this.

My Dad has secondary lung cancer and to the bone and it is very agressive. Early Septmber he was playing golf 3 times a week, now he can't get of bed and is on oxygen and has been told he doe'snt have long left. I am very worried about my Mum (who is quite vunerable) and really want to be there but am working full time. I wonder what people are doing to get around this, they are close by and I pop in a few times a week but feel it's not enough. I feel very sad, anxious and stressed and am seeking advice from anyone that can help. I feel like I have no one to talk too.  

Thanks for reading. 

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    Hi Katie x I'm really struggling too. My Dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer in Feb this year and was told in May it was terminal with 6 months to live. He's lost 10 stone and I'm watching him go from a funny kind gentleman to a frail, short tempered shadow. It's heartbreaking. Then 3 weeks ago my mom was told she probably has lung cancer too and my whole world has been blown apart again. She too has changed dramatically and I'm trying to come to terms with losing them both and I'm not doing well. I can't have a conversation without crying, I can't sleep without having nightmares and have been given a note from my gp for time off. I just can't think about tomorrow as it's another day closer to the day I'm dreading. I know exactly how you feel and I know nothing I can say makes anything any better. Xx
  • Offline in reply to Megsmom

    Hi Megsmom,

    I'm so sorry to hear this and your Mum may be ill as well, when will you know for sure? You never know  and if she does have lung cancer they could remove the tumour? As for your Dad yes i feel the same there is no hope when you are told it's terminal. He has lose weight too and is short tempered as well and frail very hard to see, and I feel so sad for him, Mum and well myself to be honest. 

    i can't even think about that day, how weird will it be? will i be there? will i see him die? I'm not sure what else to say. It's good you have been given time off but maybe see your doctor again could they help you even more? I am considering counciling are you? I think it could help. All the best.

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    hi katie, it is normal to struggle.  lots of people do. x

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