Hi Sadcat, welcome to the forum although I'm sorry for the reason it has brought you here.

I can't imagine how tough it must be for you to come to terms with this news but you're not alone. Many members here will understand what you are going through having been in the same predicament themselves and I'm sure they will post soon to offer their support and share their experiences with you.

I'm glad playing the piano helps you to relax and I know there was a discussion recently where members were discussing what they do in their spare time which you can have a look at here. Feel free to chat as I'm sure the others would love to find out more about you and your piano playing.

All the best, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi there Sadcat, welcome to the forum, but sorry for what has brought you here. I can relate to how you feel about being told you're living on borrowed time. So am I, only when I asked how long I had, I was told it could be days, months, or years. I have two different kinds of cancers going on in my body that are not related. One or the other will get me sooner rather than later. There are no more treatments available to me at this point, so its' a waiting game. At this point, I am not really too sick, but suffer from extreme fatigue. I do have some pain and other discomfort, but my vitals are pretty good, considering all I have been through. Trying to relax is a problem sometimes for sure. Dwelling on  a death sentence is a real barrier to relaxing for sure. I try to focus on things that I always enjoyed doing and can still can do, such as reading, spending time with friends whenever possible, going to a movie when I can get out, and spending time with my dog. I can't walk my dog now as I am unable to walk any distance, but he is old and can't walk far either, so we're a good pair. He brings me much joy and peace though and I think that is a big help to me.

I don't know what your joys in life have been in the past prior to your diagnosis, but whatever they were, I hope you are able to still do some of them. I also hope you have friends around that you can spend time with doing some of those things. I try not to dwell on my terminal diagnosis. To do that I think would drive me out of my mind. Trying to make good use out of the time I have left makes sense to me. Further to that, I'm not afraid of being dead, but I am real scared of the journey to get there with a cancer diagnosis.

There are quite a few of us members of this forum who are in the same situation as you and I. I'm sure others will be along soon to respond. In the meantime, take care of yourself as best you can and fine some things to do that you enjoy so that you're not totally absorbed with dying from this terrible disease.

Take care.

Lorraine 

HI Steph and LorraineD

Thank you for replying. That means a lot to me.  I was terrified that no one would reply. I am so sorrry to hear your prognosis, Lorraine. It brings tears to my eyes. I feel somewht similar - just doing the best I can now. I play the piano to relax. I go to the gym to work out so I will be stronger to play the piano longer hours. I go onto another site as a leader in sciatica , spinal stenosis , and congestive heart failure , and depersonalization. Love helping others. Used to go to Gilda's club (face to fae cancer support) for about 5 years and play their grand piano and go to support group. But they gave my time slot away for the piano to a yoga group  - -so I quit.

Have not given up yet - so I do a lot of research about my cancer. I have already invented a better way to dose om=ne med gaining  2 extra years, and invented a herbs grouping which has gained me another 2 extra years. Am still researching. 

I appreciate this group - it makes me feel as I am home . I have been rather upset lately. Even told my kids I don't want a birthday party this month / this year. They are upset with me.  But I do not want to celibrate my getting older any longer. Oh, and right now I am very emotional vfrom my anti-hormone meds. Sending you two healing thoughts and hugs.  

Sadcat