New to the group

I am very lost right now... my partner of 17 years just passed away September 25 from liver cancer.. It was a very fast unexpected processes. She started having pain April 21 and was told on may 8 what it was. We knew or were told at that time it was incurable . You don't really believe it at first and you do whatever you need to do to get ride of it. The only hope we had was to prolong with the Y-90 treatment. We started the process but was stopped in our tracks as it would only cause the liver to fail faster. So that left us with nothing. She gathered family yet no one really heard....... I had the best week before labor day weekend with her she flirted,played joked like she when we were new. I will cherish that week just like I cherish the last 17 years. It is the very simple things I remember right now the kiss on the neck as I helped her to the bathroom...... I am so very lost she was my best friend the love of my life!!!!! I am now alone.... I am scared I never did very good with changes and here I sit wondering what do I do now. I am so sick of hearing " what can I do for you" you can not bring her back that is the only thing I want. I feel like I am choking unable to breath.
  • Just want to welcome you to the site sorry it's for this reason I'm sorry for you lost.you have come to the right place there so many people on here that been in you situation that can understand more what you going though.not long I have joined myself but being on here have helped because you not alone and it's good to get things off you chest there always someone on here reads you post and give the time to answer if you just want to chat as well.take care