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My heart is crushed, my husband died yesterday

Buttercup73
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Hi all, I'm new to all of this forum stuff, but I need to feel less lonely. My precious husband of 16 years died yesterday after suffering with lung cancer for over two years, I was with him when he died, yet still can't believe he's gone. My heart is crushed and I feel like I will never be whole again, but I am also so relieved that he has gone, because the pain was so bad despite the meds, the man I knew had slowly slipped away over the last three weeks, but I still am in shock because it all happened so quickly, the doctors, nurses and paramedics all thought that it was a quick trip to hospital to find out why his breathing had changed so rapidly and as soon as we got there he died in A&E, instead of at home with me as we planned and prepared for. I feel raw, and lost and so lonely, we have no children so now its just me and our cat, and when everyone goes home, and I shut the door and try to sleep all I do is cry, and I'm so very tired, haven't slept properly on over a month because he's been so poorly, but now I would give anything to have one more sleepless night with him here, holding his hand. So lonely and I just wanted to be with people who will get it, because its like no other feeling I've ever had and I don't want to be alone in this.

 

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    Hi Buttercup,

    Sorry to read about the circumstances of your husband's death, especially if you had planned for him to end his days at home. 

    I hope you find some help and support on this forum. 

    Best wishes

    Dave

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    Hi Buttercup, I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you have any other family around for support? You're not alone in your feelings. After we lost my dad last year life became so hard. I know my mum feels alone without my dad, when you shut the door and it's just her there alone. There will be lots of 'us' on the forum who have suffered a loss and know the pains associated with that loss. We are here whenever you need to talk. Take care

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    Hi Buttercup,

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  My heart goes out to you.  I'm sure you'll find lots of support on this forum from people who understand and care.

    With very best wishes

    M x

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    Dear Buttercup, I am really sorry for your loss. It's always difficult to find the best words to help someone who goes through this experience. I know as my father died 7 months ago, after 9 months of fighting lung cancer. Nothing that others said to make me feel better has ever worked. They are not with us anymore and that's it. We are left to feel the pain and to miss them so much, to remember them when they were healthy and happy, and maybe in time we will learn to express our grief differently. My thoughts are with you, best wishes, D
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    Hi Buttercup,

    I'm so sorry for your loss. You'll still be in shock and going through such a mix of emotions. I hope you get some support and comfort from this forum

    xx

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    Hello Buttercup73. So so sorry to hear about your loss. I remember losing my Dad and even though my Mum had three kids she still felt like she had lost everything she had ever lived for. I stuck with her and hopefully helped her through some of the worst of it. I heard a quote once that said " it never gets better but what happens is you get better at dealing with it" which does seem to make sense when you consider it's a brand new experience you have to face. Try to get as much counselling as you can, your GP may help. Have someone. if you can, to call on day or night to speak to. Stay on this and other sites as you will always find support and possibly some coping methods. You've already taken the right step in expressing your feelings and that will only result in support from others. I wish you all the strength you need and remember that you are never alone. It will feel as though you are a lot of the time but take each day at a time and battle through it. Make him proud of you. Thinking of you and keep going.  Bless you,   Bill 

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    Hi there Buttercup, I am so sorry to hear that your life partner has died from this terrible disease. I can "hear" the heartbreak in your writing. I think when a loved one dies from this disease, loved ones left behind have very mixed feelings about this loss. We don't want our loved one to continue suffering from it, but we also don't want to lose the person. I know right now you feel like you will never recover from this pain and you likely won't completely. It will get less painful with time. I hope you have family and good friends there to support you through this loss and certainly forum members are here, so come back on here any time and just write about your loss and pain. Just putting it into words on here can help and people will respond.

    Sending you hugs.

    Lorraine  

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    So sorry for you. My wife passed away in similar circumstances just one year ago on 14th this month.I know what you are going through right now and my heart goes out to you.Everyone says it gets easier but I'm still hurting the same inside.The only thing that gets easier is our ability to cope with life without them.I found that a lot of my fear and dread and insecurity about continuing without her was making my suffering worse.Now,after twelve months without her I know that I can manage daily living quite adequately.That lessens the pain a little but the repeated bouts of crying continues and I wouldn't want it any other way. So I would like to reassure you that you will manage daily life okay. It's hard at first when someone was always there to lend a hand,but you do manage to cope.So don't let worries about that bother you in your mind.. You are not alone in this suffering,hundreds of thousands tonight are feeling just like us and fighting to come to terms with their loss.In the early stages one is very vulnerable to outsiders.So take extra care with making decisions or friends..Try to confide in a family member,don't rush into anything,let everything wait.You,yourself,getting through this is all that matters now.That heart will take years to heal but stay strong and do it for him.
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    im so sorry I hope you find peace in time xxx

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