Hi, I have secondary breast cancer in my spine and hips. I'm 55. Had yet another scan today in preparation for appt with consultant on the12th. Feeling really nauseated tonight and very very unwell. I am a bit scared of what lies ahead and only hope that the body knows what to do in some inate way, just as we know how to be born. I will leave behind my much loved husband of 20 years. I worry about leaving him. Today has been unusually emotionally trying. Hospital staff very solicitous, hard to be pragmatic in the face of such kindness butI don't seem to have the resilliance I once had.