Hello 

So sorry to hear about your dad's illness...i have just lost my dad 2 weeks ago to terminal mesothelioma ..he was desperate to be at home when he knew he didnt have long left  but due to circumstances beyond our control we wasnt able to care for him like he needed at home as we had no disrict nurses or carers or a bed with cot sides as he was not ill enough to have one !!! My dad went to a community hospital for palliative care ..he spent 36 hrs there and that is where he died ..peacefully in no pain. I know that wouldnt have been the case had he died in hospital .

Its so hard to watch someone we love deteriorate so fast ..i cant or ever will , get over how fast the cancer took my dad .

you sound like the youre in the same position i was in i was practically with my mum all the time my dad was ill and now he no longer here we are together constantly..i have to look after her like i promised my dad i would

..shes only got me and my brother but he lives an hour a way..i feel like i am grieving for the loss of my dad and the loss of my mums husband ..

Its hard not knowing what type of cancer youre dealing with but you have to respect your dads wishes..if youre dad is anything like my dad he sounds like  a proud man . ..hated anyone fretting and worrying about him ..

I wish i had more words of comfort for you ..everything you are feeling is normal .my prayers and hugs are with you and youre family xx

Sarah xx