Our Journey so far:
My husband went to the drs 4yrs ago july 2012 aged 52 not having seen a dr since he was a kid, he was constipated which he had never been before this was the only change he was a fit healthy man. the dr sent him to see a consultant, he had a scan. the news came back that he had a tumour in his bowel and he would have radiotherapy before the op, he received this treatment with little side effects, then went onto the op, when they opened him up the tumour was advanced and had grown through the bowel wall and into the lymph nodes, they removed what they could, he had a colostomy bag. many tears had flowed to cope with this but we laughed and cried together. this op hit my husband hard, never being ill, to be in hospital was a very new experience, he had a couple of months to recover and the first session of 12 wks of chem started over xmas, initially it was not too bad a couple of days rough after treatment, then ok, he got tired, lost the feelings in the bottom of his feet and finger tips, taste was gone, where as he was a two veg and meat man, became a curry monster and everything was covered in pepper, we laughed about this. after this session he had a break then a scan it was all working and no cancer could be found we all celebrated, then he had a bag reversal op and had to learn to go to to the loo again, but the op had chaged his insides quite a bit and his stool was very loose, so he had pills to counteract this. all this time he is still working full time having days off when too ill to work, I was in full time work too. I think this kept us sane to get away from our bubble of life.
Another scan date arrived not good news tumour was back, Chemo started again, reduced the tumour, discussed ops etc then they did a couple of other scans, the cancer had spread into his liver and lungs, they could not operate. although the chemo reduced what he had they then told us they could do no more than pallative chemo and what he had was terminal and he would be on chemo until it stopped slowing the cancer down.
This was a very sad time lots and lots of tears, we come from farming community, have a large family of 3 girls and 2 boys and 4 grandchildren, we have been married 35yrs, the kids took the news in there own way, but were very supportive, the day after we were told, he made his will and wanted to get everything in place like he was going to die the next day, we both had some very black days, but in farming its a seven day a week job, so life went on and he did not die the next day or the next, chemo went on and on the weeks went by with me going to my day job outside of farming. he was dying infront of me the chemo side effects as time went on were getting worse and worse, with it ending he was not having a good day at all spending most time in bed, being sick, not eating and wasting away, he had finhed his 4th session and was about to start the next when he told the consultant he did not want anymore treatment and would take his chances. he wanted quality of life. this i found daunting, we carried on and over a few months after the chemo cocktail was out of his system, he was back to his old self, though very tired he could wander upt the farm, he the decided to give up his other job at the golf club he was a greenkeeper. he tinkered with stuff around the farm and appeared to get better aprt from the tiredness the kids named him roboop you could not stop him. more months passed he was not seeing anyone no hospital or drs visits. our local gp gave him a call said he would like a chat with him, he sees him periodically to see how he is.
recent changes he is slowing down, more tired, got no go in him he would say, the engine is running out of steam. he has his dark days but as long as he can get out for a couple of hours it keeps him happy.
Me, i try not to think to far ahead, it scares the crap out of me! I have my tears, rants of anger when none can hear me. to release my frustrations. I talk to my family rather than bottle it all up, though I do that anyway as I want to support and stay strong for them all, even writing this helps.
what has changed? the way we think, we do it now, not later. enjoy the moments while he is still with us, with lots of laughter and tears.
apologies if i have rambled on, I have read lots of others stories, what they have, what they are going through, we are all in the same boat in one way or another.
