Hi Kernogirl Sorry you've found cause to to come here, sounds like your doing your best by your dad. Its your last sentence "I dont know how much longer I can keep this up. that is worrying. Everyone needs to take some time out for themselves, if you don't you will collapse and there will be no one to care for your dad. Make your brother grow up and take some responsibilty it's his dad too, its balls on his part to say he can't deal with it. Other people do annoy with their stupid comments but don't hate them for it, they often are at a loss what to say when it comes to discussing cancer and are just trying their best. You dont have to have a relationship with your mother, to ask her to help out. Try, you never know. Perhaps your family could chip in together and get a "sitter" to give you an occasional break. I have a relative who does this for her job, I know she charges very little, (I'm not offering her services) and it gives family of terminally ill people time for themselves for instance just to get out and meet a friend for a coffee or visit the hairdresser or have a nights uninterupted sleep. I've got cancer myself and possibly same age as your dad, I go to nearly every appointment and the treatments, scans etc by myself. Is it possible your dad could do a few on his own. A few ideas anyway but you really need to put you first sometimes given your long hours at work and all the care. Come here to do some shouting or ranting if you need to, I used to go up Bodmin moor and scream my head off when I was looking after my dad in his final months of cancer. It probably didnt do any good but the walk in beautiful quiet surroundings probably did. Best to both of you Kim