Hi and welcome to Cancer Chat.  It does not matter what you do as a profession, when it comes to facing cancer in the family it can be an emotional rollercoaster.  I often felt (it was was my husband with terminal cancer) I needed to be strong for my family and I came to this forum where I found non-judgemental support and wonderful understanding.  It is sometimes a relief just to be truly honest about how you really feel.  I hope you will find some small comfort at being able to post here and am sure others will be along shortly to say hello. Virtual friendships are still part of my healing process.  Regards Jules54