Hello Lucinda,

I am so sorry you recently lost your mum to pancreatic cancer. Our sincere condolences from the Cancer Chat team. I just responded to a young member, mikuicewolf, who also lost a parent and I think you two would have a lot to share with one another and hopefully it will help to talk to someone else who is currently going through similar emotions. You can read mikuicewolf's message here and feel free to respond to it if you wish.

Hopefully others will be along soon to say hello and I am sure they will have some nice words of comfort for you.

Warmest wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Lucinda,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my mum to pancreatic cancer on 12th May, 20 months after she was diagnosed. She was also 64. Such a horrible disease and taken away far too young. My mum underwent chemotherapy too which reduced the tumour considerably, she was due to start a new round of chemo in February but she developed jaundice and had a stent fitted and then lost a lot more weight so was too weak for the chemo. We knew she was really ill but had no idea of timescales left. She travelled from the south of England to Glasgow to come to my sisters wedding on 30th April, she was so determined to get there. We then went to stay with her for a few days, leaving on 8th may, where she was weak but ok, and got a call on 11th saying we had to go down immediately. I arrived at midnight and she passed away at 5 in the morning. She had gone into a hospice on the morning of 11th to get her medication sorted out, at which point she was assessed by a doctor who said she probably only had a few weeks left, from that point onward my mum didn't really engage any longer and began to go to sleep for longer and longer, she deteriorated so rapidly. I really believe that when the doctor spoke to her she decided she had fought as hard as she could for as long as she could and in a sense the doctor gave her permission to go. She was such a fighter and I can't believe she isn't here anymore. I am so glad though that she's not in pain anymore, not that she ever complained, she was always so positive and so full of life. It doesn't seem real that she isn't coming back and she won't be there in mine or my children's future. I'm just so sad. People tell us it'll get easier and I'm sure in time it will, but just like you, I just want my mum back. 

Big hugs xxx