Hello my name is Becky and my husband was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia in January 2015. It was a complete shock and he went into hospital with a rash and swollen stomach and basically stayed as an inpatient from then on for months for intensive chemo. It was a very emotional and terrifying time for both of us and we also have. 5 year old daughter that I tried to make things as normal as possible for which was very hard when I felt like completely falling apart but she is a little diamond. My husband did get into remission and eventually had a stem cell transplant in June which he coped amazingly well with and life became almost normal again. That was until October when he had a routine bone marrow biopsy and the leukaemia was back. At first they tried to lower immunosuppressants to fight it but we were then told the devastating news it was too aggressive and we have months at the most. This was on the Wednesday but things then got worse by Friday and after another blood test were told if we wanted to do anything nice as a family to do it this weekend as we were looking at weeks. They started treatment anyway to try to stop white cells rising but said it probably wouldn't work. We had to speak to everybody and inform them and it was quite frankly horrific.  We both could barely believe what was going on and all through this my husband looked and felt fine which just made it so unbelievable. While trying to do practical things and family things with our daughter in the short amount of time we had he was taking chemo tablets and had an iIV chemo too we had twice weekly visits to our local hospital each visit the cell count was going down considerably and the haematologists were astonished. The chemo tablets were working and eventually he was back in remission but they said it would probably not stay like that. This was now well into November  which was amazing and the doctors started to arrange DLI transfusions which are top up cells from the donerwhich was fantastic but only a a very small chance of working. We are now into May and my husband has been in hospital with chest infections and pneumonia for about 6 weeks but is now out and we have been told that the DLI didn't work and that again we need to prepare for what time he has left. He is looking and feeling better and still on chemo tablets and goes in 3 times a week for blood and platelet transfusions. Apart from being tired sometimes he is almost back to normal apart from this awful shadow that hangs over us. I just don't know what to think it's been so up and down and I still feel a small miracle may happen I just cannot believe that this is it and am really struggling to cope. Sorry it's such a long post but this has basically been our lives since jan 2015. My husband is 45 and I'm 41, just feel that nobody understands and feel very lonely in this situation. Am trying to be upbeat for our daughter and make things as normal and fun but in reality I just want to crawl into bed and not speak to anyone!