I am so sorry to hear that.  Playing strong in front of the family is something a lot of people do, but you do need to talk about your fears and feelings as well.  There is a lot for you to think about and work through, holding it all in is not good for you.  I couldn't talk to my family but I did go to see a councellor which is very helpful.  You don't need to hide how you feel from them, the fear of upsetting them isn't there.  They just are there for you, no-one else.  I did eventualy talk to my family, but still havn't told them everything.  I just can't.