Hi

Really tough thing to go through at any time and especially at your age.

We lost my wife last October through cancer and our kids were just a bit older (early 20s)

There is a particular site for teenagers with parents suffering from cancer that we often recommend it's here http://www.riprap.org.uk/

But you can certainly stay and talk with us old-uns

Pancreatic cancer is a real nasty one and is often found really late as in your father's case and no he's not going to get better. Thing is your friends don't know what to say they don't have the experience of this and just want to tell you something to make you feel better - their hearts are in the right place but they just don't understand.

You know what will be going through your father's mind? he'll be scared about what will happen to him how long it will be will it be painful? Most of all though he'll be mostly scared about what will happen to you when he's gone.

What you can do most for him right now is to show him that you're strong and capable and that you'll be just fine when he's gone - even if right now you don't believe it - you will and you have to tell him and show him that.

You can also take his mind off of it - it will be preying on his mind and creating so much stress spending a bit of time with you doing something fun is time like gold. Time where he maybe can have a smile a laugh and forget about it for a few minutes. It'll also be the times that you look back on with most fondness in the years to come.

I don't know how fit he is right now but going for a walk, opening some chocolate Easter eggs, playing a game of cards - anything you can think of that doesn't involve talking about cancer

Good luck - Be strong 

Hi Silenceofmymusic

Sorry about your dad's cancer.

There is a website here called riprap for teenagers who have a parent affected by cancer.

You say that your friends don't understand how it feels to find out that their dad has a limited number of days left.

You will be able to chat to others on riprap who will understand, as they may be in a similar position.

Are you at school or college? If you are, try and talk to a teacher or other adult about what is happening at home at the moment because they should be able to support you.

Please do come here to chat anytime you feel the need to share how you feel. Others here will understand what you are going through.

Best wishes

Jane

Hi,

I can't really add much to what Graham has said. Forget about your friends for now and spend time with your family and your Dad while you can. No-one else will have a clue about what you are going through, let alone understand it.

If anyone asks, and they will, just tell them that your Dad has only been given days to live and that you'll be in touch when you can. Then turn your phone off. Sometimes the plain truth is better than anything else. If they are real friends they will understand this and back off until you want to talk to them.

Best wishes and good luck.
Dave