Long story which I will keep short as possible. My family has a history of cancer, 3 grandparents, 2 great aunts, a great grandmother, both parents (my mother twice, but it didn't kill her). In the past three years I nursed my mother-in-law through liver cancer at home and was with her when she died. My husband had non-hodgkins lymphoma for 6 years and I nursed him at home and was with him when he died. During this time I was also looking after both my parents, my father died with many little strokes. My mother didn't cope at all well and needed a lot of support. 6 months after my husband died, my younger brother died with a cerebral heamorage and a year after him my mother died, she just gave up, - I tried to look after her at home but she was just too ill and was in hospital. I tried to get her home, but they said the journey would kill her. About a year after she died I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. I had my kidney removed and have had my first 3 month scan which was clear. I was able to be strong through all of this, caring for everyone, doing the funerals and sorting out the estates. When I was diagnosed I didn't tell anyone until the op and even then I didn't tell my children what the diagnosis was. They had been through too much already. They found out when the consultant told me they were pretty sure they had got it all.
Now I find myslef crying at odd times. I never cry - or at least I didn't. I cope, that has always been my role, but I don't feel that I am right now. I wondered if I just didn't have time to grieve and this is it leaking out. Has anyone else had a similar reaction?
