Hi Jam80,

I know exactly what you are going through . We discovered a week ago that my Dad has cancer of the oesophagus . Sadly it has spread to his lungs, liver, lymph nodes and stomach . We were told it was terminal . All I can say is what a massive blow to be dealt with . My Dad , as yours seems to be trying to put on a brave face . It's so unbelievably sad - and plays on my mind all the time . All I can say is try to remain as positive as possible around him . Show him you love him - have lots of hugs and don't be scared to have a cry together . I find this chat forum so helpful as there are so many people going through exactly the same ordeal . With regards to your friends - it's strange isn't it .. ?  Most of mine have been just like yours .. Not very supportive and almost as if they are avoiding me . I imagine they just don't know what to say for the best . Do you have any siblings that you can talk to ? Or what.about your Mum ? I hope the news you get from the hospital is better than expected . If you want a chat - I'm here . 

Take care ,Archie xxx

Hi,

I am 29 years old (single)  and my dad is going through chemo right now. He first had part of his right lower lung removed and while they were doing that surgery, they took out some lympnodes and found that they have cancer in them also; which required him to start chemo. 

I am so worried about everything at this point. My dad is so strong and my rock also, but the chemo is getting to him. It's hard to talk to anyone about this because I want to be positive for my Dad, Mom and Brother, but i'm crying myself to sleep. I feel like I have nobody to talk to about this. 

Plus... I work with my family. My mom and dad started a wardrobe business over 20 years ago and we supply wardrobe for all of the Movies, TV shows and Entertainment industry. It's called Motion Picture Costume Company. I am so proud of my dad. 

I see my brother at work and I know he is hurting also. He is 31 and single. I think because this is so new to us that none of us no how to cope.

All I know for sure, is spend as much time with him as possible. Do things that he likes to do. If he get grouchy, just try to laugh it off (dont take it personal), AND ANYTHING THAT MAKES THE PERSON LAUGH IS THE BEST MEDICINE:) I sometimes watch funny youtube videos with my dad or show him funny dog photos. My dad is tired easily, so I just go with the flow. I try to watch movies with him and even if he falls asleep thats cool with me, because he needs his rest. 

Closing Thoughts: 

I send all my love, support, and prayers to you and your family. Especially dad;)

-Alexandra 

United States of America 

I'd echo what Alexandra said

When someone has a serious condition like this there's nothing you can say or do to fix it no matter how much you want to. They will be very worried about it and really the best thing you can do is to help them to stop worrying about it for a while.

Do fun stuff with them to help them take their mind off of it, from watching videos to going for a walk, playing cards whatever they can do and enjoy and stops them worrying.

It has a side benefit that if the worst does happen you will find that the time you spent doing these fun things with them will be some of the best memories you have

Hi all,

Thank you for all of your replies, it does help just to share experiences & feelings. They found 2 spots on the other scans but aren't sure whether these are cancer or not (so better news than I was expecting.....at the moment anyway!) More scans & more waiting.  Just hope I have it in me to be strong enough for my dad as found yesterday quite tough, as you said Alexandra the chemo is taking it's toll. Am here though if you guys want to chat, somehow we'll get through this together xxx