Hi Debby, Wow, that must have been so shocking for you, but how blessed you were to be chosen in that trial. I was 52 when I got my routine one so you may have had to wait another 5 years. I , too, had breast cancer and had very similar treatment to you. I was put on Anastrazole. I have 6 more months to go on it. The side effects aren't always nice but they are a life saver, similar to your I would think. How are you feeling now ? Marianx

Thank you so much for replying - I really didnt expect to get any.  I have just recently been diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy and have needle/electrode tests being done on April 6th.  I saw my oncologist last monday and she also thinks I have lymphadema and I have a small pea sized lump on the top of my right arm which is painful so she is sending me for an ultrasound scan.  Last year my brother and nephew climbed Ben Nevis for breast cancer and raised £1400 - Im so proud of them.  Im a mum to 4 (3 girls and 1 boy) and Im used to working 6 nights a week too so all this sitting around Im finding hard to get used to haha.  Thanks again for replying it has made me smile (as I have been crying a lot lately) Deb x

Thanks Dave!  I know it sounds crazy but while I was going through all the treatment last year I was on autopilot and now it has stopped and Im "out on my own" Ive been a mess.  I have time to think about things which I try not to.  I try to put on a brave face when people are around me but when Im on my own is when I struggle.  I loved drawing but with the problems I have in my right hand I cant hold a pencil or pen so I thought joining a group like this would maybe help.  I didnt have a good time through all my treatment as I was neutropenic everytime I had chemo and the portacath they put in my chest to do the chemo through caused me to have blood clots in my jugular/arm and chest.  All chemo was done through my right hand (thats why I have so many problems with it).

Thanks again for the reply.

Deb x

No worries - I know what you mean, it doesn't sound crazy to me. While you're in treatment you concentrate everything on getting through each cycle and don't have the energy or capacity to think about anything else. Afterwards it seems as if you can't avoid thinking about what might have been, the after effects of the treatment and worrying about if or when it might come back and we'll have to repeat the whole experience again.. I just hope your after effects fade with time. 

I know I'm not the only person on here to have been hit by depression post-chemo, and quite a few people seem to suffer with survival guilt too (not an issue with me lol).

All we can do is work our way through it and enjoy our lives as best as we can.

Sorry if that last line seems a little trite ... I blame the red wine :-)

Cheers!
Dave. 

Haha now Im jealous - Ive been told to totally keep off the bottle just until the tests in April as Im on so many different tablets.  When I had my first mammogram the cancer only showed up on the left boobie so it wasnt until the MRI they found I had 3 more on the right.  When I had my first mammogram since all the treatment I told my oncologist my concern of the mammogram not showing it all up last time - she requested ultra sound and MRI but this got turned down as they said there was no evidence of them needing to do further tests even though the cancer on the right didnt show up on the mammogram.  Im worried sick and we are thinking about paying for private ultrasounds/MRI just for peace of mind.  My oncologist said she will try again to request them and she feels mad that the other department have said no and we shouldnt have to go private.  We may try writing to explain the situation and see what they say.

As you can see in my pic I am a great West Ham fan and have used that as my positiveness throughout. Hopefully we can beat Man Utd today :)

Deb :)

Not a football fan but family loyalty prevent me from saying good luck in the game against Man U - my lot will be gutted if Man U lose another game lol

I'm not sure about your oncologist's MRI request being knocked back, that doesn't ring true to me. It might be worth asking exactly who refused the MRI and why. Normally the consultants order what they feel is appropriate and get re-charged internally by the radiology dept for the cost. My pretty big primary didn't show up at all in the Ultrasound and was only picked up when I had an endoscopy - it was obvious when I had the subsequent CAT scan.  

Good luck!
Dave