Hi there and welcome! What treatment have you been having? I'd like to hear more of your journey if you would like to share? If not that's ok too. Im glad you're fighting it but appreciate its probably quite tough.
Yes its was very tough in the first place because its one of those that happens to other people not yourself or your family. I have been lucky in that I hadn't had any family suffer from cancer. It was a rollercoaster to start with, I didn't think I would make Christmas 2014 but here I am in March 2016 and still around.
I had 4 lots of chemo starting in February 2015 and finishing in April. I had a cyst on my back which had been a major problem all through the chemo as no one wanted to stop and sort it out so maintenace was put on hold while I had it dealt with. Then when I had a second CT scan it was stable so we weren't about to rock the boat.
I had another stable CT scan in Oct 2015 but started having pains in my shoulder eventually after another CT scan I had a MRI on my shoulder which showed movement up my nerves I then had 5 sessions of Radiotherapy which unfortunately also caught my throat so I was on soft food for about 3 weeks.
None of this really tells about the roller coaster ride of being told and then learning to live with the thought that ultimately its going to get me. I now refuse to even let that thought enter my mind as I wouldn't be able to cope. I am still on anti depression tablets which I went on during the chemo. Bursting into tears all the time is no help really. They work and I can be quite blase sometimes about it, mainly to other people but its probably more to help them.
I'm not sure whether or not the Radiotherapy worked as I still have shoulder pain. Its a bit difficult to work out what is new pain and what is the pain I have had for 15 years or more from damage to the shoulder. I am now waiting on probably another CT scan and then my next appointment with the oncologist. Its a constant waiting game. Not being able to plan is probably my biggest issue. We went on a cruise last September and really enjoyed it but cannot book another one in advance as I don't know what is going to be happening. We will have to do what we did last time and book one day and travel a week later. Not ideal but needs must.
I can't do what I used to do as the breathing stops me but I plod on and do bits each day. I retired when I got the diagnosis as there didn't seem much point in carrying on working I should have retired in 2014 anyway but as I worked for myself part time its was just nice to be busy. Now I get so tired I wouldn't be able to deal with it.
I've just opened it up and realise I have written a book almost but nevermind it was probably thearaputic so I will leave it. xxxxxxxxxxxx
