Hi Maria,

My Mom has stage 4 lung cancer and has 6-8 months to live. 

I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend's Mother.  It is a horrible thing for any family to have to go through.  My husband doesn't say much but he always gives me special hugs and gentle kisses and I know that's his way of showing his support for me.  I think just being there for your boyfriend will help.  It's very hard to know what to say and of course you worry about saying the wrong thing.  Just being there for him will help. 

If he's anything like me, he will get cranky from time to time.  Don't take it personally as I know my anger and frustration is taken out on my husband.  He is kind enough to understand that it's not really me, it's my lousy way of coping with my Mom's sickness.

I hope this is of some help to you. :o)

Thank you, I am sorry about your mom too.

I appreciate what you said, thank you for giving me a little insight as to how your husband helps. I will try to remember to keep an open mind when he gets angry that I (hopefully) am not the cause. And just continue to be there for him.

Thanks.

Wow thats one aggressive cancer.

I can understand why your boyfriend doesn't want her to just give up but I think you're right and that its pretty bad. I suspect he knows this too but won't admit it - that sort of stress is enough to make anyone angry and snappy.

Give him space, he'll talk about it if he wants to, when he wants to. Encourage him to make the most of this time with her - to spend what quality time they can - point out that she probably most wants people to help her take her mind off of it and that he can best help by that. Talk to her, mabe go through photo collections, game of cards whatever to have a few bits of fun.

Hi, just wanted to say my dad has grade 4 lung cancer too, he is very scared he knows he's going to die, I wish I knew how long he's got though, his has spread to his shoulder and lymph nodes not good but the only symptom he has is he has lost his voice due to the tumour pressing on his vocal cord. He is having treatment but I'm not sure how much longer this will give him tbh ? 

How long is one question that comes up again and again and it's hard enough for the doctors treating someone.

There are statistics but there is a lot of variation in that.

Advanced lung cancer is a bad one sure enough but some people manage quite a while

There are 2 main types small cell lung cancer and non-small cell lung cancer in the first 1% manage 5 years after diagnosis in the second it's 2-13%

www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../statistics-and-outlook-for-lung-cancer

That means that there are people out there doing 5 years! Now granted there aren't that many of them but it could be that your dad might be one.

Things that help the odds are age and fitness a lot will depend on how well he responds to treatment - let's hope he's a star pupil eh?

Hmm my dad has non small cell cancer but he is 83 so he's getting on bless him, he is pretty fit though he goes swimming twice a week and runs up and down the stairs a couple of times  . I just don't know x