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My husband has terminal cancer

gerimc
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Hi, This is very hard but feels right because I dont really know what else to do and by that I mean who to talk to without sobbing all the time.  My husband had his kidney and prostate removed 6 years ago because of cancer then last year we found out he had terminal bowel cancer and secondary liver cancer. They gave him 6-12 months. That was last March 21st. He has since then done the chemo for 6 months and is not eligable for surgery due to weak lungs and heart making surgery too risky. He says he feels abandoned by everyone as he got on really well with the other patients at the chemo sessions. I spent the first part of the diagnosis busy with the chemo sessions etc. then christmas came and I kept busy then also. Now I am starting to feel abandoned and lonely and in limbo. I just called his Macmillan nurse and she said to say to myself that he is well at the moment and I should be making this time count. problem is at the moment that it was my birthday yesterday and I had a lovely weekend but spent most of the time crying and thinking is this my last birthday with him. Now I feel selfish! So I have made an appointment with the doctor for this week although I already take antidepressants. Our son gets married in June and I am so desperatly praying that my husband makes it.  My husband cancelled his life insurance and I dont understand why plus the bank have told me that I will have 6 months to sell our home after his death as they want their money back, which will leave me homeless. Sorry but right now my life is a mess and I understans that my husbands life is also a mess. Thank you for reading this. He is 65 and I am 54.

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    Hi Geri

    I'm really sorry that you find yourself here but you're with friends.

    There are people on the forums here who are battling very similar situations and some like me who have recently lost familly and know just how chaotic it makes you feel.

    Yeah - a lot of us start to over analyse our feelings and behaviors and beat ourselves up over it - don't be one of them you won't be able to be there for him if you're beating yourself up thinking about how selfish you're supposedly being.

    It sounds as if you're going to lose him and it's going to be hard - but you'll find many of us here who are going through the loss of losing someone - and yes some of us are coping better than others - but we'll almost all make it through and so will you.

    For now try to concentrate on enjoying what time you have left with him and taking his mind off of it as best you can.

    I know that's not easy when you have money worries too - have you phoned the McMillan helpline about that - they have a financial team there who specialise in getting people the benefits they're entitled to and sorting out their finances in very difficult circumstances - if you've not done so give them a call today www.macmillan.org.uk/.../your-finances 

    Best of luck and post again on the main forums you'll find loads of people going through similar situations - you may even be able to help some of them

     

     

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