Am sorry for your news and understand to a degree how your feeling. My mam was diagnosed with secondary liver cancer (dudnt know about primary). This was in 2005. She was diagnosed on a thursday and died following tuesday. To this day i believe she was given an injection to help her on her way. However, my diagnosis was in august. I too am a bit of a wreck, too many other major things going on. At the moment am just getting by, lising my hair between xmas and new year the worse. 

How do you cope ? What kind of help do you want from your family & friends, my dad keeps saying its ok, but thats what my mum said on my birthday and a month later she was dead. Hes 70 and ive been looking up all the info on colon cancer so i can prepare myself for what ever lays ahead. I dont know what to say or do for him and im trying to keep strong for the sake of my children. Fingers crossed everything will be ok for you.

Talk to your dad, find out what his prognosis is. Once you know what you're dealing with you can move forward. I can understand your dad laughing and joking about it, that's his way of dealing with it but he's got all the facts and you haven't. Do you have any other siblings? What does your husband say about it?

Can you ask him if you can go with him? I know from experience on both sides that patients only take in a fraction of what they are being told so it's important that someone is there for support. Write a letter to your father, tell him how you feel and how important it is to you that you know all the facts so you can deal with it. If he has everything in a letter he can't be so dismissive and you might have a better chance of getting your feelings a cross.

He lives in winthorpe & im in Nottingham. I told him I want to be there, but he said no because I would only get upset & that would upset him I'm nearly 38 & I just feel history is repeating its self all over again & im being pushed away. How can I help or support him if he won't let me? 

I think that's why it's so important to put your feelings in writing to him. Tell him how you feel history is repeating itself. If you want to be there for him go. You know when the appointment is don't you? You can't insist on going in with him to see the consultant but you can be there for him when he comes out of the consultation and hopefully get information straight away before he's had a chance to think of anything else to say. Your dad in his own way is trying to protect you. I did the same with my kids, even putting my op off for 2 weeks so I could help my son move house. Is anyone else going to go with him?

His partner will be with him & I suppose that's why it upsets me because I want to be there. He's not given me any other info other than what he's told me. I understand he's trying to protect me but it's the not knowing what the future holds till the results come in & how bad it is. 

All the more reason to put how you're feeling in writing. When I found out I had cancer I put a brave face on it, to be honest most people do, they don't want to worry people unnecessarily . When you've been diagnosed with cancer it is difficult to deal with yourself without having to worry about what other people think and how it's affecting them. I'm glad your dad has got his partner to support him. It's hard to say what you should and shouldn't do but he told you on Christmas Eve so I'm sure he'll tell you the truth on Monday. Let us know. Hope it's good news but if it is or it isn't we're here for you ok?

Hi there, I'm really sorry to hear your dad has colon cancer.  I always think from a parents point of view their job in life is to protect their children from any harm including emotional. Being a man makes it extra hard. Keep your dads hope up by telling him everything is going to be ok. Ask him if they have told him what treatment he will get and what stage it's at. He might not know, he might not want to know. My dad didn't want to see his ct results on the screen or hear too much information about his cancer let alone how long he had left and we respected that. Take care