Hi Debbie, I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your husband to cancer. I wanted to welcome you to the forum because you will find people on here who have experienced a loss such as you have and understand what you're going through. When we lose a loved one to death, we continue to think over and over how we should have done things differently and no matter the situation, I think its' fair to say that there very often is no perfect way to do everything. We are all human and we make the best decisions that we know how at the time and given the circumstances we are in at that given moment. I think, like you, we have all thought the same as you are thinking now. Don't be too hard on yourself; you've been through a lot in the last year. I'm sure if your husband were here, he would tell you the same thing.

I think you will find that writing here on this forum will be a big help to you in dealing with the grief of losing your husband. You will find others on here who will understand and I'm sure someone will be along shortly to respond to your post. Keep posting here and tell us about your husband and the good times you and he shared. Doing this will be a good way to put your thoughts in writing.

Take care of yourself and I send you hugs.

Lorraine