I hope that coming here to share your feelings with others in a similar position will help you feel less alone at this difficult time for you.
There is another new Cancer Chat member called Evie3312 who has also just lost her husband. You can find her discussion thread here.
I'm wondering if you would like to post a message to her as you might be able to support eachother. You will see that she has had some replies from some supportive members who I am sure will also be happy to support you.
Hi Nicola, I lost my precious hubby in Aug and I understand exactly how you are feeling. Everyone says it gets easier to cope with and I understand what they mean, but I still cry everyday for my man, but I also have laughter too. I don't look to far into the future...life has changed completely, but that doesn't mean that life can't go on....it's just going to be very, very different. It's so raw at the moment for lots of us on this forum...take each hour of each day at your own pace.....cry, rant and scream, but you will come out the other end my love. Sending you love and hugs.
It gets harder everyday. I feel so lonely last thing at night and as soon as i wake up. Its so unfair. Evryone seems to carry on with their lives and i cant cause mines been destroyed. Hes not coming back.
Hi NicolaT, I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our loving Dad, Husband and Grandad Six months ago. It was20 days from diagnoses to my dad death. We are all very lost without him, I don't think it ever gets easier and it really upsets me when people say that. I still cry every day, sometime I cry for hours and sometimes I cry for a few minutes. To get me through I talk about my Dad all the time and so does my mum and brothers . My children and I talk about their silly grandad Whenever we can. I still find myself envying couples my parents age walking down the street or grandads playing with their grandchildren . But this is me jus grieving the lost of my dad. I think it's very important to speak to other people in the same situation. My mum had found that a local grief group very helpful and I found speaking to other people who have lost their parents. One of my close friends explained that she just couldn't understand what I was going through and was unsure what to say to me. I explained sometimes you just want a shoulder to cry on and a hug other times you just don't want to be know as the women who has lost their husband or the girl who lost their father. The only thing I can say to you is that you will be surprised how strong you can be, my mum has been an inspiration since she lost dad. I am sure you will be and inspiration to your family to. Remember it hurts so much because we loved them so dear. Much love to you at this horrible time Cx
Thank u so much for replying to me. I cry everyday i talk about him all the time. Where is the support group that ur mum goes to.xx i cant see things getting easier cause he will never be here again i suppose its just learning to live again on ur own.x
The support group is in South Woodham Ferrers, Chelmsford. Some if the funeral service companies also offer such groups. If South woodham is not local to you have you spoken to any of the local hospices. They offer some much more than just end of life care. I have been offered counciling services and u know they host a great deal of groups to deal with relative support. Please remember crying is not a bad thing. My mum didn't cry full until some weeks after my dad past away, she was in shock and just couldn't cope with it all. It now silly things that set my mum off and we were only talking today how much she misses dad and how some days how she doesn't want to go on or get out of bed.. But she does it and we getting through each day and each first together as a family. Mum also got herself a part time job and a dog, these give her a reason to get up each day. Mum and dad had been together since they were 14 and had been married for 46 years. Mum says she feels very lost without dad. We found Christmas and new year a very emotional time and just made the fact dad was not there to share our special family time together. But we got through it and it's important to remember not all families have wonderful Christmases. We also found looking through lots of pictures help. I am always here if you want to talk Nicola, it's sometimes easier to talk to strangers who have or going through the same thing. My heart goes out to you ️X
