Hi Dee

You know I wouldn't listen to people who haven't been in the same situation - they mean well but sometimes all this "Stay strong" stuff is just what they think they're meant to say - more often than not gotten off TV dramas!

You'll find people on here who deal with it in many different ways.

My wife died of peritoneal cancer nearly 3 months ago aged 52 after 3 years with it - her mother died of it at almost the same age and we're still waiting to find out if my daughter has the gene - sometimes cancer doesn't just hit you once it rips through famillies!

Anyway everybody always thought Melanie was so strong - I have a picture I treasure of her building a greenhouse 18 moths after a terminal dignosis of 2 years!

Her secret was denial

Not so much that she'd refuse treatment - on a mental level she knew what her position was but she simply refused to think about it - she'd talk about it but mentally it was in a slightly unreal little compartment in her mind.

She was able to do this because fortunately she had very few serious symptoms until the last couple of weeks and not everybody is so lucky.

I think most amateur psycologists ( and who knows maybe professionals too ) would say that denial is really bad. Well it worked for her - mind you I'm left sorting out the estate without a will!!!

What I'm saying is welcome to the forum - talk to people and you'll find they all have diferent coping strategies or are still looking for them. Many find support in talking to each other, some find a good cry helps - and I guess some build greenhouses!

I think it's a good place to find people to talk honestly with