I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear husband Kevin and for the pain that you are now suffering. My heart goes out to you - there are just no words.

X

Thank you my love. I didn't realise until I joined this forum, just how many people were suffering. Sometimes it does you good to be able to let your feelings out...I've actually stopped crying. XXX

Thank you Sue. X

Hi Peach, it is such early days for you - your loss is so fresh and being near Christmas is very hard to cope with anyway.  When my husband died 30 years ago and my 3 children were tiny I remember being in complete denial, believing someone would come along and sort everything out.  I felt like a child, just desperate for help.  Time, it's the only healer, you will come out the other side, a slightly different person but you don't have to be strong, and nor should you be.  One day at a time and you will get there.I have packed the last 30 years with a great deal - work, charity, fun and of course bringing up the children and seeing my 7 grandchildren born.  I now have incurable cancer and so the cycle continues.  Life is, indeed, a merry-go-round.

Wishing you all the very best, Peach, I hope you have a gentle Christmas with your family. x

Thankyou Pauline.To lose your husband when your children were so young, must have been heart breaking for you all. Your words of how you have moved on with your life is fantastic to hear...and now sweetheart you have yet another battle. I hope to take on some of your strengh and move foreward.

I hope you have a magical Christmas with your children and precious grandchildren around you ...sending you lots of love. xxx

Hi CG, thankyou so much for getting intouch. I've never written on a forum before, but I, like you, feel that when i'm talking to people on here, they really understand exactly what we are going through. I talk to Kevin all the time and seem to get some comfort from that. I've actually put my Christmas decorations and fairy lights up...Kevin would have approved. He would want the house full of family and chatter. It's so hard my love and i daren't look far into the future...one day at a time.

We will get there CG...it's just not quite the life we envisaged, is it???

Big hugs back. XXX

Hi Peach,

Thanks for sharing your story, which I'm sure many people on here will be able to relate to. Especially the bit about thinking you'll wake up and find this was all just a dream, or more commonly, a nightmare.

Christmas is a challenge to so many of us. You're expected to celebrate - " 'tis the Season to be Jolly!" and all that nonsense. Even if your heart is breaking and your World has collapsed around you.

That said, it can also be a time for happy memories remembering those we've lost, and will never forget, with fondness and love.

Try to enjoy your birthday, put on your brave face and remember that your family and friends will be missing Kev too and will be trying to understand how you feel.

Best wishes
Dave
x

I am sorry to hear about the passing of your husband. My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer August 2014 and passed away 3 months ago. I totally understand what you are feeling. I am 53 and my husband was 62. I still work full time and I have 2 of my adult children living with me but they do have their own lives to live and I cannot expect them to hang around with me. Every day is another day that I make it through. I am constantly reminding myself not to look at tomorrow but cocentrate on today. The minute. If I look to tomorrow it becomes overwhelming. My husband and I did everything together. The only time we were apart was to go to work. I do not think we will really ever heal from this loss. I think we will over time learn to cope better. Right now if I make it through a day without crying (which is not too often) then I say to myself that I had a good day. I am glad I found this site. It just makes me sad to see so many people in the same place as I am.

Take Care, Cindy

Im new to this board but your post caught my eye. Im very sorry for your loss. My father is dying of prostate cancer and the hospice nurse states that he wont make it till Christmas. My mom has been by his side for 52 years and non-stop caregiver for the last three years. As a son, I worry about my mom being alone in the house as I live about 1.5 hours away. She is strong at the moment but that could change. She lost a son 20 years ago and has been through alot. I hope Christmas time will be a time to reflect on the good times you had with your husband.  

Hi Dave,

Thankyou for your kind words. xx