So very sorry to read about your mum.  Twenty years ago my mum had oesophogal cancer and she was frequently dehydrated and couldnt eat or drink.  She did try but she couldnt swallow.  I am in a different position in that just the thought of eating sometimes is awful.  Even though I have to have food to take medication I just cannot do it, and no matter what anyone says to me. I cant eat.

Pleasedon't beat yourself up and, trust me, if your mum could eat or drink, she would.  Just ask her if there is anything you can do for her that will make her more comfortable.

Let us know how you and your mum are and come and talk to us anytime.

Thank you for your kind words, i know its not all about me and there are many many unfortunate souls going through rhis very same thing, i just feel so ..... useless, wirh all my knowledge and strength there is not a thing I can do to stop this or help! I just want more time with her, i cant even show any signs of begining to weakening or show any emotion as i have to he the strongest for my other brothers,  if i crack thats the end.... does that make sense?  I'm sure I'm not the only one,  it just feels like it!  Many thanks for taking the time to read this, it helps to put my thoughts and feelings down. 

I completely understand where you are coming from!  I have alwsys been the strong one in my family, the one that is expected to hold it all together.  No, you aren't the only one going through this but it feels like it sometimes, doesn't it.  Your mum will know how much you care and it will help her enormously to know you are there.  I see the pain in my own adult childrens faces because they don't know how to help me, but I just want them to know that being there for me is the most important thing. 

There is no right or wrong in caring for someone with cancer.   Just do your best, that's all anyone can ask for.  You sound a very caring person. x